Sixteen
by saysomethingimgivinguponyou
Summary: This is a different take on the Addison/Derek/Mark/Meredith square of season 2. It involves babies and mistakes, some sorrow, some heartbreak, and a whole lot of regret. Read the authors note/chapter one to understand the plot
1. Chapter 1

p class="s2" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"span class="s3"span class="bumpedFont15" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"MUST READ FIRST: IN ORDER FOR FANFIC TO MAKE SENSE!/span/span/p  
p class="s2" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);" /span/p  
p class="s2" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"span class="s3"span class="bumpedFont15"So I had this idea for a /span/spanspan class="s3"span class="bumpedFont15"fanfiction/span/spanspan class="s3"span class="bumpedFont15" and after writing a couple different parts of it, I decided to go ahead and start it and I plan to update is regularly./span/span/span/p  
p class="s2" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"span class="s3"span class="bumpedFont15"The time frame is set in 2014, however in this story Derek and Meredith met just like they did on the show, just a few years before, as in 1998. Everything happened at that point the same as in the show, Derek and Meredith met at the bar, they fell in love, she found out he was married and he chose Addison. There are some differences though, Meredith decided to leave Seattle after some news from Derek, this will have a huge /span/spanspan class="s3"span class="bumpedFont15"Mer/span/spanspan class="s3"span class="bumpedFont15"/Mark friendship but this is not a /span/spanspan class="s3"span class="bumpedFont15"Mer/span/spanspan class="s3"span class="bumpedFont15"/Mark story, this eventually will be /span/spanspan class="s3"span class="bumpedFont15"Mer/span/spanspan class="s3"span class="bumpedFont15"/Der however there is some /span/spanspan class="s3"span class="bumpedFont15"Addek/span/spanspan class="s3"span class="bumpedFont15", they are together in this story however they are miserable. Please don't write me reviews complaining about Meredith and Mark being friendly or friends, that part is only at the beginning that you will see major/span/spanspan class="s3"span class="bumpedFont15"Mer/span/spanspan class="s3"span class="bumpedFont15"/Mark moments./span/span/span/p  
p class="s2" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"span class="s3"span class="bumpedFont15"This story will be set up a little weird, the first probably 10 chapters are going to be flashbacks to when Meredith and Derek were both still in Seattle, it covers why Meredith left and why Mark went with her, it covers how Derek dealt with her leaving and it goes a little bit into the first couple years of Meredith leaving. If you want to picture how Meredith and Derek look in the part that enters the actual present then just refer to how their characters currently look on Grey's and maybe a little less grey hair on /span/spanspan class="s3"span class="bumpedFont15"McDreamy/span/spanspan class="s3"span class="bumpedFont15" because I have to admit I prefer him younger/span/spanspan class="s4"J/spanspan class="s3"span class="bumpedFont15" /span/spanspan class="s3"span class="bumpedFont15"Also the flashbacks are sort of in order but it doesn't explain every little detail there are time gaps between them./span/span/span/p  
p class="s2" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"span class="s3"span class="bumpedFont15" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"Please give this story a chance and please leave me reviews, they keep me motivated to keep updating!/span/span/p  
p class="s2" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"span class="s3"span class="bumpedFont15"Also I don't own anything all rights to /span/spanspan class="s3"span class="bumpedFont15"Shonda/span/spanspan class="s3"span class="bumpedFont15" /span/spanspan class="s3"span class="bumpedFont15"Rhimes/span/spanspan class="s3"span class="bumpedFont15" for writing the most beautiful love story on TV!/span/span/span/p 


	2. Chapter 2

This is the first flashback, it is a little different from the show. In this one Derek sleeps with Addison before Meredith's 'Pick me, Choose me" rant. As a side note he was very drunk when it happened if it makes you feel better.

_They had just scrubbed out of surgery, Derek's face echoed how tired and empty he felt on the inside. Millions of thoughts were occupying his mind and as much as being in that OR killed him seeing Meredith knowing how badly he was about to hurt her, nothing brought him pure peace like her presence. Suddenly he was forced from his thoughts when he heard Meredith's voice approaching him_

"_I lied. I'm not out of this relationship. I'm in. I'm so in, it's humiliating, because here I am, begging…"_

"_Meredith" he pleaded anything to stop her from the humiliation he knew she was going to feel in a few days_

"_Shut up. You say Meredith and I yell, remember? Okay. Here it is. Your choice? It's simple. Her, or me. And I'm sure she's really great. But Derek, I love you. In a… really, really big… pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you._ _So pick me, choose me, love me" she finished tears brimming in her eyes._

_She was determined…he loved that about her, but today after last night, after the news he received, tears brimmed in his own eyes. He was about to hurt her far more than he ever had done before, this was going to hurt worse than not telling her about his wife, this was going to destroy her._

_He tried to speak up, his thoughts running over time, trying to stop her and spare her any less dignity that she might have. His heart ached for her, literally ached. She said something about meeting her later at Joe's bar if he chose her. He wouldn't be going to Joe's bar tonight but he couldn't tell her because she had already walked away._

_Last night Addison came to the trailer eyes full of sparkle and hope and kissed him, really kissed him. She told him the news, that_ _she was pregnant, from that night a month ago when Meredith broke up with him and he got completely wasted. Addison had shown up that night at the trailer and forced herself upon him, she even let him call her Meredith over and over as he drunkenly cried tears of sadness and loss for the woman he truly loved. She told him he was going to be a father_ _and she was so happy, he forced a smile upon his face and told her that it was great. The divorce papers that were lingering on his kitchen table he quickly shoved in his pocket as he asked her to come in. They had sex..again. Meaningless sex is what Derek thought, and as Addison swirled her tongue on Derek's neck, all he could think of was a sad pair of green eyes that held years upon years of disappointment and abandonment. And he was about to disappoint her again._

_Derek quickly finished scrubbing out shaking the memory of what had transpired last night and went to search for Meredith, she deserved to know, before the hospital gossip got out, he needed this closure to come from him, she at least deserved that._

There is flashback one, there is going to be a lot more, but please give this story a chance it may seem like an Addek but itsnot going to be ultimately. Besides who even says the baby is Derek's ;)

Please Review!


	3. Flashback 2

This is flashback number two, these flashbacks are only intended so that the plot makes sense when we get to the actual story.

_Her shift had finally ended, today without a doubt had been the longest day of her life. The longest, most horrible day she had ever had and that was a lot coming from Meredith Grey, she had her fair share of shitty days, but today; today took the cake. Meredith stood in the elevator, her head down and her arms crossed tightly across her chest, unshed tears filled her eyes. Mark Sloan entered the elevator with his own grim expression. He glanced at Meredith's broken form before moving to stand behind her. He knew exactly how she felt, he felt like somebody had knocked the wind out of him when Addison told him that she and Derek were having a baby and that she wanted him to leave to get as far away from Seattle as possible. To say it stung him didn't even begin to scratch the surface. _

_Mark reached out and placed his hand on Meredith's shoulder, he didn't know if it was for her support or his own. Meredith didn't move his hand away she just stood there crumbling, completely numb. She didn't even know how she was going to move when that elevator finally stopped on the main floor to exit. When the elevator reached the main floor lobby the doors dinged open and there stood Derek clad in a black coat and dress pants and guilt and sorrow embraced his entire face. He looked at Meredith who's gaze was still cast down. Mark looked up and saw Derek, he looked at the man who used to be his very best friend and then he looked at the woman who Derek broke. _

_Mark wrapped his entire arm around Meredith and walked her out of the elevator, past Derek and out of the hospital; she needed him tonight. She was going to need the only person in the entire world who knew exactly how she felt. _

_As soon as they were outside the walls of Seattle-Grace Meredith's body shook with sobs and Mark did they only thing he knew to do; he held her. He wrapped his arms tightly around her and calmed her as much as possible. _

_"__Shhh Meredith" Mark soothed his hand on her head pulling her close _

_"__I…I love him" Meredith cried in-between sobs _

_"__I know that. He loves you too" Mark told her softly. He knew his bestfriend, he knew that Derek Shepherd was completely in love with Meredith Grey but he also knew Derek was never going to leave Addison especially now that she was having his baby. _

_"__Addison's pregnant" Meredith stated in a matter of fact tone _

_"__Addison's pregnant" Mark whispered finally saying it out loud for the first time. _

_"__I can't do this… I can't work here every day and see them. It hurts too much" Meredith said as she brushed the remaining tears off of her face. _

_"__Neither can I" Mark agreed _

_Silence engulfed them, the Seattle sky seemed darker than usual._

_A smirk captured Mark's face "Come on Dr. Grey, let me buy you a drink" Mark whispered half amused. He wrapped his arm around the small of Meredith's back and led her to the bar. _

_As they sat on the stools at Joe's bar, Mark pulled out his blackberry and began looking up flights that were leaving out first thing in the morning. Meredith was on her second shot of tequila and was feeling the buzz _

_"__We can go anywhere" Mark told her his common smirk still as in place as always, making anything and everything dirty. _

_"__Mark I don't think we could have everything packed up and ready to leave this fast" Meredith giggled _

_"__Why the hell not? It'll be an adventure for the dirty mistresses" Mark slurred clearly feeling the gin. _

_Meredith hopped off her bar stool and put her arms around Mark's neck _

_"__Take me home Dr. Sloan" she told him with a laugh _

_"__New York it is" he grinned _

_And that was that, they were leaving Seattle to never look back at what and who they were leaving behind. That morning Mark and Meredith put as much of their life as they could into their suitcases and caught a plane for New York City. _

Please Review, it makes me so happy. Also just so you know, I did write how Derek told Meredith about Addison and the baby, that is going to be the very last flashback and it will completely tie the flashbacks together and will mostly explain why Meredith decided to leave.

Also I saw that for some reason my authors note in chapter one was really messed up. I fixed it so please go back and read it so that this whole story makes sense.


	4. Flashback 3

Paste your document here.

This is the third flashback, we only have a few more before we get on with the actual story.

_"__Dr. Bailey I would like to request Meredith Grey on my service today" Derek said confidently as he met Bailey by the nurses station. _

_"__No can do Dr. Shepherd, as of this morning Dr. Grey is no longer a surgical resident at Seattle Grace Hospital" Bailey informed him with a glare _

_"__What do you mean? She transferred to Mercy West?" Derek asked in shock _

_"__You'll have to take it up with the chief. I don't know anything about Dr. Grey's leave" Miranda Bailey said shooting Derek a look that could kill._

_Derek ran his hand through his hair when Addison came up to greet him._

_"__Hey" She said and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek _

_"__Hi" Derek said clearly distracted _

_"__What's going on?" Addison asked noticing her husband looked off _

_"__Nothing, everything is fine. Have you seen the chief?" Derek asked _

_"__Derek, what's going on?" _

_"__Everything is fine" Derek told her and jogged away to find the chief. _

_Derek entered the chief's office to find him going over paper work _

_"__Where's Meredith..Dr. Grey I mean. I heard she doesn't work here anymore"_

_"__That's not your concern Derek" the Chief said clearly aggravated _

_"__Actually it is my concern, I've been teaching Dr. Grey since the beginning of her internship. I deserve to know where she is" Derek spat _

_"__So have Dr. Burke, and Dr. Torres, and many other attending's at this hospital and if I am correct Dr. Grey has also been taught by your wife and I don't see any of them coming into my office demanding to know the whereabouts of an intern" Richard said his voice rising _

_"__Richard. You know Meredith was more than just an intern to me" Derek pleaded _

_"__I am fully aware of that Derek" the chief said giving him a harsh look._

_Derek's eyes held a plea that the chief understood and understood well. He knew how Derek felt, he was in Derek's very shoes 20 years prior. _

_"__I don't know where she is Derek, she came into my office this morning adamant that she wanted to quit. I tried everything to get her to stay. Her mind was made"_

_"__You could have said something. Anything to get her to change her mind. You let her throw away her career" Derek barked _

_"__We all know good and well why Meredith Grey decided to leave this hospital Dr. Shepherd so close the door on the way out and I hope next time you make a trip to this office you can keep it professional" Richard told him with a warning clear in his eyes._

_Derek left the office and slammed the door. _

_Derek was furious all day, he bit the head off of interns, cornered Cristina multiple times to try and get Meredith's whereabouts out of her but Cristina refused to give any information away. By the end of the day Derek had exhausted every option he had, he even called her cell phone to find out that it had been disconnected. _

_Later at Joe's bar Addison came in to find him on his second shot of Tequila. Derek never drank Tequila but tonight, tonight definitely felt like a Tequila night. _

_"__Okay, so what's been going on with you today?" Addison asked him taking a seat next to him at the bar _

_"__Meredith left the hospital, I think she even left Seattle" Derek sighed, he was too tipsy to even hide what he was feeling from Addison _

_"__Maybe this is a good thing Derek, it can be like a fresh start for us. We can all move on now" she told her resting her head on his shoulder _

_Derek scoffed "This was supposed to be my fresh start" he mocked her _

_"__I didn't force you to stay with me or make our marriage work" Addison yelled _

_"__No you just got pregnant" Derek said too tired to even fight her _

_"__Wow Derek tell me how you really feel" Addison chided sarcastically _

_"__How could you even say this is a good thing?" Derek asked meeting her gaze _

_"__We drove a woman to a point where she felt so uncomfortable, that she packed up everything she worked for and left" Derek spat _

_"__We ruined her career" he yelled at Addison _

_"__That's not true Derek. She left on her own, we didn't make her do anything"_

_"__She left her friends, the only family she has. She gave it all up" Derek whispered the last part_

_"__I know you are upset"_

_"__You don't know anything" Derek spat with so much venom in his voice that it surprised Addison_

_He got up to leave_

_"__So what now Derek, are you saying it's over?" Addison asked him_

_"__No, we're having a baby. It's not over" Derek said with a sad expression and left the bar. _

If you don't like my story then you don't have to read it, don't send me rude messages telling me how much you don't like it. Nobody is forcing you to read it and your reviews aren't going to keep me from writing so get on with your day.

.. 


	5. Final Flashback

To clear up any confusion or assumptions this will not be a Mer/Mark story. They are friend's maybe even best friends but their relationship is strictly platonic, like how Meredith's relationship with Alex is on the actual show. There is some Addek but they are miserable. If it bothers you to read any Addek at all even them being miserable together then don't read this because for a while they will still be married in the actual present day part of the story.

This is the final flashback until we actually get to modern day part of the story.

_Mark and Meredith had been living in a house Mark bought in the city of Manhattan. It was a charming house, fully furnished and warm. There were multiple fireplaces throughout the house, an all-white kitchen, and quite a lot of square feet to keep Mark and Meredith away from each other if they needed a break. In the few weeks that they had been living together they began to bond over more than just their broken hearts. Meredith accepted a new internship at Mt. Sinai where Mark became the head of plastics. They really began to start forming a friendship, Mark taught Meredith how to cook certain dishes, they had movies nights the few nights they had both been free from the hospital, they went shopping at farmers markets. Meredith found herself confiding in Mark about her childhood, how her father left her and how her mother treated her more like a burden then a daughter. _

_Three weeks into their living arrangement Mark and Meredith got into a massive fight. Mark was standing in their kitchen using the spatula he had previously been frying an egg with to yell at Meredith. _

_"__You don't have to tell him. I'll take care of you and the baby. Derek never has to know" Mark barked waving the spatula at her_

_They had been having this heated discussion for over thirty minutes now when Meredith entered their home finally free from her 36 hour shift at the hospital. She told him immediately what her suspicions and the blood test confirmed. She was pregnant with Derek's baby. She wanted to go back to Seattle, she wanted to tell Derek she was having his baby and she wanted her friends. At this point in the conversations after Mark refused to go back to Seattle, Meredith was in tears. _

_"__Meredith" Mark softened dropping the spatula on the kitchen counter and making his way over to her. He held out his arms to hold her but she crossed her arms across her stomach and refused to meet his gaze_

_"__Damnit Merdith, let me in, let me help you" Mark shouted out of exhaustion_

_Meredith's body wracked with sobs and for the first time in her life Meredith fell apart. She no longer could hold it all together with a simple 'I'm fine'._

_Mark's heart softened and he wrapped his arms tightly around her. He was shocked when she let him just hold her. He picked her up and sat her down on him in her bed. After about 10 minutes of just letting her cry, Meredith sniffled a few times and let him know that she was going to be okay. _

_"__I can't believe I didn't notice before but you have a little bump" Mark said excitedly as he looked at Meredith's stomach_

_"__Mark this isn't your responsibility, you don't have to stay" Meredith said with tears in her eyes_

_"__It is my responsibility. I decided that I was going to take care of you and be here for you. I refuse to be another person who walks away from you or disappoints you."_

_"__Mark" Meredith whispered in protest _

_"__Just let me, this is the dirty mistresses chance at some sort of family. We can do this" Mark encouraged her_

_"__Okay" Meredith agreed matching his tone. _

_"__Okay" he said with a sheepish Mark Sloan grin_

And that's it for the flashbacks. We now move to 16 years in the future.


	6. Current Day

New York City, NY. November 30th 2014. Over 16 years since Meredith Grey left Seattle.

Grace Elizabeth Grey was a petite girl, with long wavy dirty blonde hair that cascaded over her shoulders. She had bright blue eyes, a small nose and a big smile. Her dad's smile. However she didn't know her dad, they had never met, and all she knew was that her dad was some sort of God in surgery; and that she had read off of a Wikipedia page. Her mother had never exactly been forthcoming about information regarding her father and she didn't want to push the matter, not when she was close to putting all the puzzle pieces together.

Grace was smart but she was also overwhelmingly beautiful, she had Meredith's small frame and color hair but in all she was Derek. Grace googled picture after picture of him and it always came with the same result in her head, there was no denying Derek Christopher Shepherd was her father. He was living in Washington D.C, doing some type of brain mapping project for the President. She knew he was married and had a son, what she didn't know was if her father knew of her existence. That's why for Grace's 16th birthday coming up in a month; December 30th, she was hatching a plan to go to D.C to meet her dad.

Grace bounded down the stairs of the house that she lived in with her mom and Uncle Mark. It was later in the afternoon and her mom had just arrived home from working a 37 hour shift.

"Gracie" Meredith yelled up the stairs as she sat her bag down on the counter and began making a pot of coffee.

"Mom, I will 16 in exactly one month" Grace said excitedly as she came down the stairs and made her way into the kitchen to see her mother

"Don't remind me" Meredith smirked as she filled her mug with fresh coffee

Grace rolled her eyes playfully

"Mom this is possibly the most important birthday of my life" Grace exclaimed dramatically

"I know sweetie, I can't believe my baby is all grown up" Meredith said coming over and kissing the top of Grace's head

"Right" Grace said with a giggle, the giggle that was all her mothers.

"So mom…" Grace started with a tone Meredith recognized as the tone Grace used when she wanted something

"So Gracie?" Meredith asked with a raised eyebrow

"Lauren asked me if I wanted to go to Niagara Falls with her family over Christmas break, just for a few days and I'd be home way before Christmas"

"Yeah I'll have to talk to Lauren's mom but that should be fine" Meredith said stifling a yawn.

Grace smiled part one of her plan was complete.

"Mark should be home soon and then I was thinking we could do a family movie night, we haven't done one in awhile"

"As long as there's pizza" Grace agreed.

45 minutes later Mark Sloan entered the house with a large pizza in hand. Grace jumped off the couch where she had been laying with her mom.

"You're a God" Grace said to Mark as she ripped the pizza out of his hands. Mark laughed

"Well hey Grace" he said with a Mark Sloan sheepish grin

"Hey" Grace managed out with her mouth full

"I'm starving, thanks Mark" Meredith told him as she kissed his cheek

"No problem, so Dr. Forbes asked me about you today" Mark told Meredith with a wink

"I don't care" Meredith blushed

"Yes you do, you so care" Grace laughed at her mom's embarrassment

Meredith had been on and off with Dr. Fletcher Forbes for about 6 months, no matter how badly at times she wanted to she just couldn't seem to commit. He wasn't Derek.

"Yeah Mer, you soooo care" Mark teased mocking Grace

"I so don't" Meredith laughed

"He wants you to call him" Mark said smirking chewing on a slice of pizza

"Infact give me that" Mark stated taking the pizza out of Meredith's hand

"Hey" Meredith cried

"I know for a fact that he's free tonight, which means you're going on a date"

"Can't even if I wanted to, we're having family time tonight"

"Mom go out with him, he loves you" Grace encouraged

"No, it's okay. I want to spend time with my daughter"

"Stop hogging the kid Mer, go out with your boyfriend. I want to spend some time with her tonight anyway" Mark told Meredith as he got a beer out of the fridge

"Grace you don't mind?" Meredith asked

"No mom. Uncle Markie misses me" Grace teased

"No I can't, work has been hectic and I haven't got to spend any time with you lately"

"Mom, its fine. You're taking an entire week off to spend with me over Christmas break, go out and have fun tonight" Grace said wiggling her eyebrows up and down at her last statement.

Meredith was in her bedroom getting ready for her date with Dr. Forbes. Grace was laying on Meredith's bed to either approve or disapprove of her outfit. Meredith was examining herself in the mirror, she wore a tight black dress and a pair of black heels.

"You look hot" Grace smirked

"I agree with the kid, damn Grey" Mark said walking into Meredith's room nursing a beer in his hand.

Meredith rolled her eyes "Are you sure you're okay with me going out tonight?" Meredith asked Grace biting her lip

"Yes" both Mark and Grace said in frustration

"Okay, okay I'm going. Just give me a minute" Meredith said scooting them out of her room. Once they were out, she sunk to the floor and buried her head in her hands.

Grace was looking more and more like Derek every day and it was heart breaking. She noticed that Grace inherited the McDreamy smile and Derek's eyes. Grace's eyes would light up the same way Derek's did. She missed Derek and watching Grace grow up without him stung her. She knew Derek was in DC working on a brain mapping project for the President, she had always kept up with him and what he was doing professionally. There had been so many times she wanted to take Grace, march down to DC and shove it in Derek's face that she raised an amazing daughter without his help.

She remembers back to when she was eight months pregnant and she wrote Derek a letter telling him about their daughter and how much she wanted him to be a part of their daughter's life. She remembers waiting weeks/months/ and even years for Derek to acknowledge in some way that they had a child together. Eventually though she gave up, she realized Derek was happy with the way things were and that obviously he wanted nothing to do with Meredith or their child. All Meredith knew was that Derek was missing out because out of every accomplishment she had ever made, Grace Elizabeth Grey was her greatest.

Washington D.C, November 30'th 2014. Sixteen years since Meredith Grey walked out of his life.

Derek, Addison and Peyton Shepherd lived in a townhouse right outside of Washington D.C. Addison was written all over it, designer furniture, cool colors, every inch of their home was decorated. Derek never really considered it home but Addison and their son did pick up and move all the way to D.C for him, so he wasn't going to complain. He didn't spend much time there anyway, most of his time was spent at the medical center in D.C working on research for the brain mapping. It was the only thing Derek looked forward to, work.

His home life was too much of a hassle, pretending to be a perfect family was overwhelming, pretending that he loved his wife was exhausting and living with the biggest regret of his life, losing Meredith burned his heart every day. So he stayed at the lab, worked on the brain mapping as much as possible. It kept his mind off his failed marriage, his mistakes, and the fact that the older his son got the more and more it became obvious that he wasn't really the father.

Addison had called Derek's phone for the 5th time that night. She sighed. It kept going straight to voicemail, and this is how it had always been; Derek putting his career above the needs of their family. She knew he was working with the president and that his brain mapping was very important but so was their family. Derek seemed to pull further and further away from their son over the years too, sure Derek attended all Peyton's games and special events but there was no pride that Derek held for Peyton.

Addison looked at the picture of the three of them on the refrigerator, she wore a bright smile as she had her arm wrapped around their son, Peyton sat in the middle holding his sixteenth birthday cake. His blonde hair and tall muscular frame was evident and his muscles bulged through his shirt. Then there was Derek standing there with his arms crossed, eyes holding zero emotion and a forced smile drawn on his face.

Her husband was unhappy, everyone knew it. She hadn't seen her husband genuinely happy since they were back in Seattle, since Meredith Grey. Addison breathed out. Derek never mentioned her but Addison knew deep down Derek still loved Meredith. She had caught him too many times doing internet searches on Meredith. She knew about the time Derek figured out Meredith lived in New York and flew out there claiming it was for "research". When he came home after only a day, in a horrible mood, she knew it had something to do with Meredith. She found a newspaper article that Derek kept in his wallet of Meredith winning a Harper Avery two years ago for portal vein research.

Addison made her way up the stairs of their home and into her walk in closet that was filled with designer clothes, handbags and shoes. She dug around until she found what she called 'The Seattle Box'. The box contained the keys to Derek's trailer, a map of the house plans he refused to build with her, a few pictures of them in Seattle, and the letter Meredith Grey had sent her husband 16 years ago.

A letter that she refused to open and never gave to Derek. She knew she should've just given it to him, but she knew how badly Derek had missed Meredith and she was so scared of him leaving her, so she kept it to herself. She wished now she would have just given it to him, maybe he would have went back to Meredith and she could have met someone else and they would both be happy right now.

Addison picked up the letter and then placed it back in the box, she hadn't opened it in 16 years and tonight was not going to be the night.

She decided to call Derek again to see if he would be home anytime soon.

"Hello" Derek answered in a somewhat annoyed but mostly just sad voice

"Hey, it's just me. Are you going to be home for dinner?"

"No" Derek answered simply, it had been years since he had given an excuse, he kept things very much to the point.

"We haven't had dinner together in weeks" Addison informed him

"You know I'm in the middle of important research" Derek seethed

"Yeah we know" Addison told him sarcastically

"I have to go" Derek told her immediately ending their conversation and hanging up.

This was their life. A few short phone calls, a family dinner every once in a blue moon, and sex every so often when Addison knew Derek was missing Meredith more than usual.

Derek ran his hands through his hair as he sat at his desk inside of his D.C office. He didn't know how much longer he could keep himself together. He couldn't do this anymore, they both knew their marriage was long over, how it even lasted these past 16 years was shocking. He had spent almost two decades staying faithful to a woman he wasn't in love with and raising a son (to the best of his ability) who he was almost positive wasn't even his, at least genetically speaking.

He dug in his desk drawer and pulled out the picture he kept of Meredith, she looked beautiful. It was a picture he found in a magazine one day of her inside the Mt. Sinai hospital part of the team that separated conjoined 25 year old triplets. She was grinning, they had just finished the successful operation and she was on a surgery high. He couldn't help but smile too.

New York

Her mom had already left for her date with Dr. Forbes when Grace interrupted Mark's football game

"Uncle Mark can I talk to you?" Grace asked seriously

Mark tore his gaze away from the T.V and looked worriedly at Grace

"You're my bud, you can talk to me about anything" Mark said setting his beer down and turning down the television with the remote.

"I want to talk about my dad" Grace told him looking him straight in the eye

Mark sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

"What do you want to know?" Mark asked evenly

"What's he like?" Grace asked

"He's a brain surgeon, so he's arrogant" Mark countered somewhat playfully

"But what's he really like?"

"He's a good guy Grace, you look just like him. I think that's difficult on your mom sometimes" Mark told her honestly

"Does mom still love him?"

"I don't know, you would have to ask her"

"Did he love her..my mom. Did he love her?"

"He loved her very much" Mark told Grace genuinely

"Then what was the problem? why didn't they stay together?"

"It's complicated" Mark stated picking up his beer and taking a swig

"No it's not! Just tell me" Grace begged

"Your dad was married to someone else, Addison"

"How could you say he was a good guy when he had fallen in love with my mom while he was still married?"

"That's where its complicated…Addison kind of had a sleepover with your dad's best friend while they were married, before he met your mom"

"Uncle Mark, I'm almost 16, I know a sleepover is code for sex" Grace said with an eyeroll

"Hey, I don't want to hear that word in your vocabulary, go get some soap and wash your mouth out"

"You're getting off topic, so she cheated on him with his best friend, what a bitch and what a shitty best friend"

"Grace, language"

"Sorry, but still, so then he met my mom?"

"He moved to Seattle and met your mother, and they fell in love."

"So why didn't he divorce Addison and just stay with my mom?"

"Well because you don't just throw away a marriage, it's a commitment, and Addison found out she was pregnant so he decided to stay with her and make their marriage work"

"But what about my mom, she was pregnant with me, does he even know about me?" Grace asked clearly mad

Mark became uncomfortable. "Grace, your mom should be telling you about this not me. It's not really my place" Mark told her

"Yes it is, you're my uncle Mark. You're the closest thing I have to a dad" Grace protested

"Grace I can't tell you anything else."

Meredith came home that night to find Grace and Mark sleeping on the couch in opposite ways. Grace had her feet in Mark's face and was curled up on a pillow. She smiled and put a throw blanket over them. She kissed Grace's forehead and whispered goodnight to her before making her way up the stairs and into her room.

Okay so please let me know what you think!


	7. Daddy Dearest

Meredith was running around the house making sure all her paperwork was together and that Grace's information as well as bags were packed for Grace's trip with her friend Lauren and her family.

Grace sat on a bar stool on the island in the kitchen eating her morning cereal

"Mom, you look insane" Grace remarked smirking at her clearly flustered mother

Meredith glanced at her watch for the 15th time in the past 10 minutes

"Mom, just go, Lauren's family is running late and I'm fine" Grace assured her

"No, I told the chief I would be running late this morning… I thought you said they would be here at 9?"

"Yeah, they're a little behind, in fact they haven't even left their house yet" Grace said taking a huge bite of her cereal.

Meredith groaned, she wanted to be there when her daughter's friend picked her up but it was already 9:45 and she had an important case today. Meredith constantly battled between her career and being a present mom. Her biggest fear in life was turning into Ellis Grey and since Grace's father had decided that he didn't want to be in the picture, she had to double time the parenting. Of course she always had Mark's help and Mark practically raised Grace as his own, but still he wasn't Grace's father and no matter how much time he spent with Grace, he never would be.

"Okay sweetie, your passport, my credit card, and your insurance card are all in the side zipper of your suitcase. I packed you some extra clothes, just in case you need them. Call me when you get there and call me before you go to bed"

"Okaaaay mom" Grace remarked trying to her hurry her mom along, after all she did have a plane to catch to D.C at 12.

Meredith rushed over and kissed her daughter on top of her head, her coffee thermos, brief case and lab coat were all in her hands as she juggled to hug Grace.

"I love you mommy" Grace said softly when her mom was almost out the door.

Meredith jogged back over and wrapped her arm around her daughter

"I love you, more than anything" Meredith said with a loving look and then went to leave again

"Oh yeah and don't talk to strangers" Meredith said as she was at the door

"Mommmmm" Grace whined

"Okay, I'm leaving. Bye" and with that Meredith was out the door and making her way to her jeep.

Grace hurriedly got her bags together and called a cab to take her to the airport, she was running very, very late. She made it on the plane just in time for a short 45 minute flight to D.C.

Grace spent the majority of her flight in deep thought, she had always dreamed about the day she would meet her father and the fact that today would most likely be that day, had Grace on edge. She looked down at the outfit she chose to wear today, a long sleeve maroon top, a black high wasted skirt, with a pair of black panty hose and her old white converse's. Her mom had tried to buy her a new pair of the shoes a ton of times but Grace refused to wear anything other than her old ones, she said they had character and she would not get rid of them.

After 45 minutes of Grace's intense thoughts centered around her father, the plane finally reached destination and suddenly Grace was alone in an unfamiliar city with only one mission in mind.

_Back in New York _

"Hey, there you are" Mark said finding Meredith after her consult

"Hey" Meredith said checking her phone for the umpteenth time that hour

"You okay there?" Mark asked

"Yeah, I'm just worried about Grace, this is her first trip without me or you"

"Mer, she's a good kid, she'll be fine" Mark assured her

"I know, I'm just worried about her" Meredith said sighing

"She's been a little distracted lately" Mark agreed

"I don't know what's going on with her, she's been so quiet which is unlike her, she's very chatty"

Mark looked away guiltily which didn't go unnoticed by Meredith

"What do you know?" Meredith demanded

"Nothing, I know what you know" Mark said sheepishly

"Mark" Meredith demanded looking him in the eye

Mark scratched the back of his head, if his pager could go off right at this second that would be a God-send but there was no such luck.

"The other week, Grace asked me about Derek"

Meredith crossed her arms over her chest and became defensive

"What all did you tell her?" she asked angrily

"Meredith, she's getting older we can't shield her from him forever. She wants to know about him and maybe it's time we tell her the truth" Mark countered

"Tell her what exactly Mark? That her own father didn't want her. That he has some other family who he loves more than her. Absolutely not"

"When you put it like that… But maybe we soften the blow. Tell her that it was complicated but that he loves her, because I'm sure deep down, Derek does love her" Mark defended a little. Mark hated Derek probably much more than Meredith did, but he loved his "niece" more than he hated Derek and he could see that night she asked that Grace wanted to know her father.

"No" Meredith stated and Mark could tell her opinion was not going to change anytime soon.

"I know what it's like to be rejected by your own father and I promised myself that Grace would never have to feel that rejection. I don't want her knowing that Derek knows she's out there somewhere in the world and he doesn't care" Meredith said tears welling in her eyes.

If there was one thing Meredith loved in the world it was her daughter and she would never forgive herself if she ever caused Grace the pain that her own traumatic childhood caused her.

Mark looked at Meredith sympathetically and put his arm around her

"I don't want my daughter to become dark and twisty" Meredith said in a whisper

Mark laughed a little "Chatty Kathy is never going to become Dark and Twisty. She has Shepherd genes, it's fundamentally impossible"

Just then Meredith's pager went off  
"I got to go" she told Mark

"Just think about it Mama Grey, the older she gets, the more curious she is going to become" Mark shouted after her taking a sip of the coffee he completely forgot about when he walked over.

Back in D.C

Once the plane landed, Grace was lost, she needed to find a hotel, she needed to figure out how to find the presidential office where her father worked and she needed to go over her lines again of what she was going to say.

She wasn't sure what she was going to say, of course she wanted to tell him that she was his daughter but that wasn't the best idea, considering her mom and Uncle Mark had no idea what was going on. Her first task on the agenda though was finding a hotel.

She saw a high-end hotel right across the street and made her way over. Her mom did give her, her credit card and if Grace knew one thing; it was that financially her mother wasn't hurting. Being a renowned surgeon had it perks, and one of those perks was being way more than just financially stable.

"Hi, I need to rent a room for the next 3 days" Grace said confidently as she approached the desk to the fancy hotel right in the middle of downtown D.C.

"Are you 18 years of age, miss?" A French receptionist asked with an eyebrow raised

"No" Grace chimed

"Sorry sweetie, come back with a parent or guardian and then we can help you"

"I have a credit card" Grace said pulling out the platinum card.

"Sorry" the receptionist said losing interest fast

Grace paused and thought for a moment "How familiar are you with Derek Shepherd, Dr. Derek Shepherd?" Grace quizzed the receptionist.

He shrugged "Never heard of him" the receptionist said his demeanor never changing.

"Well, um Dr. Shepherd works for the president, and that's a huge deal. He's my uhh Uncle and I'm surprising him for a visit. My mom was supposed to reserve us a room but she's caught up in surgery, you know how surgeons are, too busy saving lives. Anyway I really need a room to visit my Uncle Derek who basically is the president of this entire countries right hand man" Grace rambled

The receptionist raised his eyebrow "Unless you suddenly turn eighteen or have a parent to check you in, I cannot help you"

An older man who was beside Grace checking out of the hotel seemed interested in Grace's case when he heard the mention of Derek Shepherd. Derek Shepherd in his opinion was a very professional man who was thoroughly depressed. He liked Dr. Shepherd, the two of them had very intense conversations centered on their jobs of brain mapping. However anytime he brought up anything personal or asked anything about Derek's wife or son, Derek became very closed off. He learned long ago not to bring up Derek's personal life, obviously he had some deep rooted issues involving it.

Grace sighed "Excuse me, this young lady is trying to visit her uncle who is a dear friend of mine and does work for the president of the United States. You will give her a room immediately" the older gentleman said in a biting tone. Maybe seeing his niece would make Derek perk up and pull him out of his miserable shell he usually lived in.

Grace grinned at him.

"I'm sorry I can't do that, it's against policy"

The man pulled out his white house pass "You see that, I work closely with the president and I wouldn't want to have to let the press know what bad service I received at this very hotel…I do believe our V.I.P's ALWAYS stay here" the man warned

"I'll get you a room right away miss"

"Thank you" Grace said genuinely to the man who helped

"My pleasure, your Uncle is a good friend of mine, we've been working together for well over 3 years, a broody man, but a good man. I'm sure he'll be very happy to see you, in fact I'm on my way to the lab now, I'll have to let him know I ran into you" the man said putting his arm around Grace

"No" Grace almost yelled

"It's a surprise, I'm going to sneak up on him…or something" Grace recovered

"My lips are sealed" the man said with a smile

"Thank you, and thanks again for helping me before"

"You're welcome, I'm sure I'll see you later" the man said with a smile before he left.

Grace made her way into her hotel room and plopped down on her bed. Reality was now setting in, she was going to meet her father, sometime within the next few hours. She let out the breath she didn't know she was holding and she thought about all the different ways it could go. She didn't even know if she was going to tell him the truth, if she told him, her mom and Uncle Mark would find out she lied and she would be grounded no doubt. Also if she told him who knows how he would react. From the way her Uncle Mark acted she assumed Derek had no idea about her existence, maybe he would be happy.

However she couldn't help but think about the rejection she would feel if he wanted nothing to do with her, he already had a family and already had a kid. Maybe he didn't want another one. Those were the thoughts that occupied her mind before she drifted to sleep.

"Damn-it" Derek yelled at his young intern who was helping him on the brain mapping. They were currently dissecting the DNA sequencing of the brain and studying the genetic makeup of a person who developed Alzheimer's early in life.

"You just destroyed a section of viable DNA that I could have used. I wanted this sequencing finished by the end of the week and now it's postponed" Derek yelled venomously

"I'm so sorry Dr. Shepherd" the intern said clearly scared. Anytime the intern worked with Derek he was always in a bad mood, for a man who seemed to have such a sexy wife and successful son he was surprised Dr. Shepherd wasn't more happy or self- aware.

"Just go. I don't need any interns. I'd be better off if a dog assisted me" Derek choked ripping the gloves off of his hands and making his way out of the sterile room that was set up much like and operating room. The intern quickly fled as well.

"I'll be in my office" Derek told the older receptionist Costella whose desk was on the floor where Derek worked every day.

He made his way into his office and pulled out the sandwich he had bought earlier as he hit the button on his answering machine to listen to the messages he knew he had received in the past 6 hours.

"Hey Derek, it's me. I'm working late at the hospital tonight and today was Pey's last day of school for break, maybe you could get off early and spend some time with him. Bye" the first one from Addison said.

Then the next two came through, but those were only business calls. Derek seemed satisfied with his messages and proceeded to eat his sandwich.

He was fuming, today was one of his "bad days" as his therapist called it. About a year ago his son had an all-out confrontation with Derek. He told Derek that he hated him and that he wished he wasn't his father and that he spent the majority of his childhood hating Derek and that he wasn't going to do it anymore. Peyton wanted to disown Derek as his father. That was a wakeup call for Derek, he tried to make amends with Peyton over the past year and their relationship was a bit better. He began seeing a therapist to work through his anger, he came a long way in therapy but some days were much worse than others and today was one of those.

"Dr. Shepherd, there is someone here requesting to speak to you, can I buzz her in?" the receptionist's voice rang over the intercom in his office.

Derek sighed, he just wanted some peace and quiet to be alone with his thoughts. He quickly pushed his lunch to the side and told Costella that it was fine.

A few seconds later Derek heard a knock on his door

"Come in" his gruff voice barked.

There at the door stood a young girl, no more than 16. She had long dirty blonde hair that was wavy, big bright blue eyes and a slight smile. She wore a sweater, a short skirt, a pair of black panty hose and on her feet were an old scuffed up pair of white converse. She was tiny, no more than 5'3 and no more than 110 lbs. Something about the girl looked familiar but he couldn't quite put his finger on what it was. He quickly shook out of his trance and motioned for her to take a seat.

"What do you want?" he asked much more coldly than he intended. Years of unhappiness and living a fake life had taken their toll. The light that used to occupy his eyes were gone and a grim frown line replaced it.

"H-hi Dr. Shepherd, my name is Grace" Grace said reaching out her hand

"Derek Shepherd, but you already knew that" Derek said not bothering to shake her hand. He wasn't meaning to be so rude but he couldn't help himself. This is the way he had treated people for years now.

Grace took a seat as she tucked a hand under the back of her skirt as she sat down before gathering her hands in her lap. She stared at him blankly for a second, completely taking him in. This was her father, this cold, sad man was the person she had fantasized about meeting for as long as she could remember. Sure she looked just like him, she could tell in that sense there was a definite linkage between the two but she couldn't help but feel a sense of major disappointment.

"Well" Derek said pulling her from her thoughts. His eyes were scanning over her, he had to piece together what was so familiar about the girl before he sent her away in an angry brood for interrupting his lunch, which he knew was bound to happen.

"Right, um I know before you worked here, you were a neurosurgeon. I'm going to college soon and I thought that I could ask you a few questions about neurology. Just so I could get a good sense of what it's about. I know you are a very busy man Derek..I mean Dr. Shepherd"

"You're rambling" Derek cut her off but a small smile graced his face. Rambling always reminded him of Meredith and the thought of Meredith always made him smile.

"So, what drew you to neuro?" Grace asked quickly trying to sound as interested as possible.

The smile quickly left his face "You came here and wasted my time, to ask me about neuro surgery, I barely even operate anymore. You could easily get your answer from an intern, or a med student, or hell just crack open a book" Derek couldn't help himself, the words flew out of his mouth before he could even process how nasty he was being

Grace looked at him, blinking a few times.

"I don't just give out information, why would I tell you? You're just some young kid who has wasted my time. I could have been gene sequencing and finding a cure to Alzheimer's disease instead of this" Derek spat

"Actually, you were eating lunch. I've been in here for less than two minutes" Grace Spat back

"I need to tell Costelle to stop letting just anyone in" Derek said mostly to himself

Grace quickly stood up "This was clearly a mistake" she said as she got off out of the chair.

Derek felt bad, he didn't mean to treat the girl so poorly, he really didn't. The girl seemed so familiar to him but he couldn't understand why. Grace was almost at the door when something Derek said stopped her. He didn't want to let her go just yet, especially on that note.

"Grace, when you're ready to apply for college, contact my office. I'll write you a letter of recommendation or something. You're trip here shouldn't have been for nothing" he said softer almost sadly as he sighed

"My trip here was for nothing. And no thanks. I don't want ANYTHING from you" Grace told him and left the office and ran out of the building, all the way to the street where she let herself cry. How her mother had ever loved that man was beyond her.

Derek let out a deep breath and ran his hands through his hair. He went over the conversation over and over in his head, something about the girl stood out to him. He felt bad for being so cold to her and cursed himself for his inability to treat people with any type of kindness. As he stood up and pushed himself away from his desk, he found a JFK airlines tag that had fallen off of her book bag that she had brought with her.

He read the name and his eyes grew wide as millions of thoughts ran through his mind "Grace Elizabeth Grey" he said the name aloud. He then scanned and found her phone number and address, it was a New York address. Meredith Grey was currently living in New York, he pictured the girl, everything from her petite frame, old converses screamed Meredith, he had to find her and talk to her. He had to know if she was related to Meredith in any way. He had to.

He quickly ran out of his office and found Costella

"Is Grace still here?" he asked the receptionist urgently

"Sorry hun, she bolted out of here faster than a whore bolts from church, I guess she couldn't handle all your charm" Costella said sarcastically with an eye roll and then laughed at her own joke. Everyone knew Derek Shepherd was anything but charming.

Derek ran past Costella's desk and out of the building into the streets and briefly scanned them for the young girl, who he could only hope is somehow related to Meredith.

He went up and down the streets of D.C for half an hour but couldn't find her, for all he knew she was on a flight back to New York City by now. He had her phone number but he decided that it was just too much of a coincidence and he wasn't going to stalk or harass some kid into giving him information he had no right to ask. He slipped the tag into his pocket and made his way back into the building.

His bad mood had doubled in the time since he met Grace and decided maybe it was best after all to go home and spend some time with his son.

So I know Derek seems like a major jerk and he is. Remember in the if/then episode of Grey's were Derek is nicknamed 'McDreary'. This is Derek after 16 years of missing Meredith and wishing that he still had his life with her. He's bound to be miserable, but I promise his attitude will change and he will very much love his daughter in the chapters to come. Next chapter will include way more Addison and Peyton and more Meredith and Mark. I'm trying though right now to focus on Grace and Derek. I have a pretty clear idea how their next meeting is going to come about. I want the revelation that Grace is Derek's daughter to happen pretty quickly so I can move into the part of this story that I am excited about!

Please review, they make me happy (well the nice ones do )


	8. Realization

_First and Foremost, I would like to thank those of you who have reviewed my story, I appreciate that you took the time to say something! I also would like to address one review in particular who did raise a good point: that it is unrealistic that Derek would suffer through 16 additional years of marriage when he was so unhappy. I thought about that myself while I was first brainstorming for this story and I took into consideration Derek and Addison divorcing years before, however I really didn't want to have to write Derek a girlfriend and my story is already going to be complicated enough when it comes to paternity of both Grace and Peyton. Throughout the show Derek always had to have someone, if he wasn't with Addison he was with Meredith, when him and Meredith only did the S&M relationship he dated Sydney and then Rose. Derek is codependent on having a partner even if he is miserable with them. Also I want you all to have the idea that the past 16 years Derek has completely buried himself in his work, along with that, he believes he has a son with Addison, which is another reason why he stays married to her. Derek is a firm believer in doing the right thing which we know by the fact that he gives Addison another chance at marriage instead of staying with Meredith in season 2. Lastly I want you to remember that Derek has kept up with Meredith's career all these years, he knows she lives in New York, he doesn't know about their daughter. If Derek and Addison divorced it would make an easier route for Derek to go back to Meredith. I didn't want that for this story. _

_If you only like to read fluff there are plenty of fanfics out there, that offers that. I enjoy fluffy stories myself but this is not one of those. So don't leave me reviews about how my story "makes you sick" because I don't care. _

_That being said, here is the next chapter, and thank you to all of you, who do enjoy this story. I have a clear idea where it is going and I'm sure by the end it will not disappoint! _

Derek only had a short drive back to his home which was only a few minutes outside of the city of D.C in a little town of Virginia. Derek laughed at the fact that he was now considered a Southerner but if that meant he got to work for the President of the United States he would gladly take it. His Escalade pulled up in the drive way and he saw that his sons brand new Lamborghini was already parked there. Addison insisted for his sixteenth birthday that Peyton be given a brand new car and Derek out of guilt obliged. Derek made his way into the fully furnished and decorated home and tossed his keys onto the kitchen counter. He quickly ascended the stairs and dropped his briefcase and lab coat onto his bed before taking off his dress shirt and pants to change into something more comfortable. Clad in his Bowdoin Sweatshirt and Jeans he sat on his bed and buried his face in his hands. He couldn't stop himself from thinking about Grace and her last name. He dug into his pocket and pulled out the airline tag that contained so much information. He was about to find his phone and dial the number listed on it, when he heard the sound of grunts and moaning coming from his sons room.

Derek went through the hall way straight to Peyton's door that was closed, when he peaked inside he saw Peyton naked in bed with a blonde girl who was wearing way too much makeup

"Peyton" he yelled

"Fuck, shit. Dad get out" Peyton yelled

Derek slammed the door shut and left the house. He made a quick trip the grocery store to make dinner for what he thought was going to be their guy's night. After an hour of getting groceries, Derek came back in the house and saw Peyton sitting on the couch in a pair of basketball shorts shirtless watching ESPN

"Hey dad" Peyton said with a smirk

"Peyton" Derek said without emotion as he began to stock the fridge with the perishable items he bought.

"Sorry about that. Usually no one's home when I bring girls over" Peyton said casually with a shrug

"I didn't know you had a girlfriend. How long have you two been dating?" Derek asked ignoring the apology for the moment

Peyton laughed "I don't do girlfriends"

"We're were just hooking up, it's what people do now" he continued

Derek slammed the refrigerator door a little too hard as disgust washed over him

"Oh yeah? Well where is she now?" Derek asked holding in his anger

"I drove her home, least I could do, she's a good fuck, ya know what I mean" Peyton said amused as he smirked again at his father.

"Who the hell raised you?" Derek spat now angry at the way his son seemed to have zero respect for women.

"Dad, chill. It's not like I forced her into it, its consensual. If it makes you feel better, Amber and I do it a couple times a week. It's not like it's a hit it and quit it" Peyton said laughing as he made his way into the kitchen to help his dad unload the rest of the groceries.

Derek's mind roamed to Grace, the young girl he met earlier today. She was probably close to the same age as Peyton. The thought of someone speaking about Grace the way his son was talking about this Amber girl infuriated him. If Grace was his daughter and he caught a punk like Peyton speaking about her in such a way, he would probably spend the rest of his life in jail for beating a minor.

"Yeah well it's not happening anymore. I refuse to condone that in my home" Derek said still angry

"You won't know, it's not like you're ever home"

"I'm home right now aren't I?" Derek asked rhetorically

"Dad we all know the next time you're home before midnight again will be months from now, it's not like you'll know" Peyton said still clearly amused by the entire topic

"We're supposed to be bonding" Derek said with a smirk. He wanted to move off of the topic, too much of his time now had been wasted on it.

"Bonding over what?"

"I don't know. We could shoot some hoops or something" Derek suggested

Peyton not only loved all sports but was exceptionally well at them. Being 6'4 and all muscle had more perks than just "scoring" any girl he wanted. Peyton was the best on his team at every sport he played

"Do you really want to go down that road again?" Peyton said laughing

Derek laughed too. The last time Peyton and Derek played basketball together, Peyton side stepped and Derek ended up falling on the concrete and breaking his arm.

"Well I've been busy but I'm home tonight, might as well take advantage of it"

Peyton seemed to think for a second then shrugged "Yeah sure, why not?"

Grace spent the rest of the day exploring around D.C. She had decided that she was never going to speak to Derek again and that she was never going to tell her mom or Uncle Mark that she came here and that she met her father. That was one experience she never wanted to relive by telling what happened. She made it to her room around 9:00 pm and decided to order room service for dinner. It took no time for her room service to arrive and she was enjoying a generous portion of chocolate cake when her phone rang.

"Mom" Grace answered her eyes lighting up at the fact that she could finally talk to her mother

"Hey sweetie, how's the trip? I got worried that you never texted or called me"

"I'm sorry, we've just been so busy. But I miss you so much"

Meredith smiled on the other end of the phone "I've missed you so much too."

'When I get home, do you think we could go visit China Town again like we did last year" Grace asked

"Sure of course if that's what you want to do again for your birthday" Meredith said with a smile

"I think maybe it is." Grace answered

"That can be arranged. Have you been having fun?"

"Oh yeah, we've had lots of fun. Actually we're about to go out now and get some hot chocolate or something so I'll call you tomorrow" Grace said trying to get off the phone. Lying to her mother was beginning to get to her and she wanted to stop before she had to do it anymore

"Okay, well I love you. Uncle Mark wanted me to tell you earlier that he misses you and that he's sorry he didn't get to say bye before you left"

"It's not like I'm dying and never coming home…but tell him I miss him too" Grace said as tears came to her eyes. Sometimes she took her Uncle Mark for granted, even though her biological father was an ass, Mark had been a constant throughout her whole life. He taught her how to ride a bike, he always listened to her ramble about whatever she wanted to talk about, he was always there for her and in a way Mark was her dad. Grace got off the phone with Meredith and decided to go to sleep. Today and all its craziness was finally starting to get to her.

Derek tossed and turned all night. When Addison came home around 11:30 from having to stay late at the hospital, he pretended to be asleep. She immediately got into bed as far on her side as possible and laid down .Within minutes Derek knew she was asleep. He turned on his back and looked up at the ceiling. His son was probably fornicating somewhere in the house and the thought of Grace possibly being somewhere in the city with answers kept him awake. He rolled out of bed and looked at the clock on his cell phone 12:30 it read. That wasn't such an indecent hour. He threw on his robe and grabbed the faded JFK tag and made his way downstairs. He paused when he heard the sound of Peyton and his best friend Levi playing videogames in the den. Peyton and Levi reminded him so much of himself and Mark when they were in high school. Peyton was clearly Mark, would do anything to get laid. Levi was quieter and he didn't seem to be such a man-whore like his son was. Derek quickly tip-toed out of the house, through the door and into his car

Once in the car he pulled his phone out of his robe pocket and dialed the number listed on the tag

After 4 rings a sleepy "hello" answered the phone. He immediately felt bad for waking her up and when he went to speak nothing came out.

"Hello" she said again a little more clearer. Derek immediately hung up. What the hell was he doing? He was calling some random kid, who he barely knew just because she had the same last name as a woman he dated briefly 17 years ago. However Meredith wasn't just a woman, she was the love of his life and if this girl could offer some insight on that he was going to take it. He quickly dialed her again

"WHAT?" She yelled into the phone on the second ring

Derek was amused, she reminded him so much of Meredith

"Hi, um this is Dr. Shepherd. We met earlier today" Derek said a bit nervous. He sounded way too formal but at least the angry edge from earlier had dissipated.

The girl said nothing and he quickly he said "Please don't hang up " he had caught her just in time because that was Grace's next move

"What do you want Derek?" Grace said half tiredly and half aggravated

"I'm sorry about earlier. You caught me at a bad time and I would be happy to answer some of your questions from earlier…if you still want"

Grace smiled sleepily. Maybe her dad wasn't the worst person in the entire world

"How did you get my number?" Grace asked now getting worried

"I have my ways"

"Oh" was all Grace managed. This was not supposed to happen

"Sorry I called so late…I felt bad about what happened earlier today"

"Technically it's what happened yesterday" Grace informed him

Derek laughed a little "True, so do you still want to grill me?" Derek joked

"Okay… same time tomorrow?" Grace asked a bit timidly

"That'll be fine" Derek said.

Tomorrow he would be getting his answers.

Grace had been sitting in Derek's office for over an hour. She had asked him every possible question she could think of regarding the field of neurology. Her mother was a general surgeon and her Uncle worked in plastics so her field of knowledge regarding the brain was low. However Derek was thoroughly impressed, for a 15 year old she knew way more than a lot of interns. He knew sometimes she would ask him a question and he could tell she already knew the answer. He wanted to get on the topic of Meredith but he knew that if she was somehow related to his ex girlfriend and if she was anything like her, Grace would shut down and avoid him if she suspected he was on to her.

"You're staring again" Grace commented

"Sorry it's just you remind me of someone"

"Who?" Grace probed already knowing the answer

Derek offered her a smile and changed the subject "Next question, fire it at me"

Grace wracked her brain to think of anything at all to ask him but she was drawing a blank. She noticed a picture on his desk and pulled it to her, probably over stepping her bounds she thought. Derek watched her as she analyzed the photo almost with sadness in her eyes.

"Is this your family?" she asked looking up from the photo and meeting his gaze

"Yes" Derek answered simply without further explanation

"Your wife's very pretty" Grace stated looking back down at the picture. Derek didn't respond he was so focused on how much Grace reminded him of Meredith that he couldn't focus on anything other than the way her wavy dirty blonde hair fell past her shoulders.

"Is your son adopted?" Grace asked pulling Derek from his thoughts

"Why would you think that?" Derek asked without any confusion

"He doesn't look like you" Grace couldn't help but notice how much he looked like her Uncle Mark, same build, same smirk and same eyes"

When Derek didn't say anything again Grace continued "He reminds me of someone"

"Who?"

Now it was Grace's turn to change the subject but she couldn't think of anything

"So, you have drilled me for over an hour, asked me personal questions. I have been a great interviewee, so now I think it's only fair that I ask you some questions and you answer me… honestly. Ok?"

Grace gulped but hesitantly agreed

"So Grace, where are you from?"

"New York" Grace answered

"I used to live in New York"

"Really? When?" Grace asked a bit too eagerly

Derek laughed "A long, long time ago. It doesn't hold fond memories"

"Why not?"

"How old are you?"

"You didn't answer my question, but I'm almost 16"

"When's your birthday?"

"Why does it matter?" Grace asked getting defensive

"It matters to me" Derek said with a tiny smirk

"December 30th"

"So you're from New York. What are you doing here?"

"Vacation. I'm on winter break from school so I came to visit the city. See the white house and stuff" Grace lied. Her insides were screaming, I'm here to see you.

"Have you seen it yet?"

"What? Oh you mean the white house? I've passed it lots of times but I haven't been on a tour or anything"

"That's what we'll do tomorrow. You can meet my son. See then if you still think he's adopted and the three of us can get lunch afterwards"

"Oh um thanks"

"Your parents can come too. I'm assuming they're here with you"

"I don't have parents" Grace said matter of factly

"I'm very sorry to hear that Grace"

" I mean I have a parent. My mom. My dad's never been in the picture"

"What's your mom like?" Derek asked wondering if this would lead to answers about Meredith

Grace's face lit up at the mention of her mom, temporarily forgetting she didn't want Derek to find out that he was her father. "She's beautiful and brilliant, which never happens. Usually it's either one or the other"

"Oh yeah? Do you look like her?"

"We have the same hair but I look just like my dad"

There it was for Derek, this was the pass go and collect 200 dollars. He was just about to pull out the picture he kept of Meredith and ask Grace about her but Addison bursting through the door of his office halted the conversation.

"Hey" she greeted stepping into his office and dropping off bags of clothes she had been out shopping for

Just then Addison noticed Grace sitting in a chair in Derek's office. She was immediately taken aback by the young girl who looked so much like her husband. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out whom the young girl belonged to. Addison immediately felt uneasy.

"Well hello" she said to the young girl she didn't know

"Grace" Grace introduced sticking out her hand.

Addison gladly shook her hand and looked to Derek for an explanation. Derek was looking at Grace with almost a proud expression across his face.

"Grace here was thinking about doing a pre internship here and I've been interviewing her"

Addison looked to Grace who nodded at his answer and Addison visibly relaxed.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, it's just we agreed last week on doing family dinner tonight and you said you'd be there"

"Right, well um Grace, are you hungry?" Derek asked

"Derek" Addison begun to interrupt but a nasty look from Derek stopped her.

"I don't want to intrude" Grace answered looking between Addison and Derek

"You wouldn't be. I invited you and we would love for you to come" Derek said looking at Addison.

Addison offered Grace a smile and nodded

"I am starving" Grace admitted sheepishly. She fully intended on spending as much time with her father as possible even if that meant having to hang out with his wicked witch wife too.

"Great, we'll run by the store figure something out. See you at home Addie" Derek stated

"Oh okay, see you at home then" Addison said with a bit of confusion and left Derek's office.

Derek and Grace were in Derek's jeep as they made the ride to the town where Derek's house was.

"So what's your favorite thing to eat?" Derek asked briefly looking away from the road to look at Grace.

"Pizza" she said with a smile. And then it hit him. The way her bright blue eyes mirrored his own, her smile, her tiny little nose, her wavy blonde hair, her tiny ineffectual fists. She wasn't just Meredith's she was his too. She had to be. He played her full name over and over in his head "Grace Elizabeth Grey". It wasn't a coincidence. Seattle Grace is where him and Meredith fell in love, Elizabeth is a combination of Ellis (Meredith's mothers name) and his moms name (Beth). Her birthday December 30th, he did the math. Him and Meredith would have still been together when she was conceived. She said her father was never in the picture. Then the final clue, why else would she be in D.C? She didn't come here by herself to see the white house, she came here to see him. When he looked back at her he realized he was looking at his daughter.


	9. Breaking up is hard to do

_Thank you to all of those who reviewed and especially a thank you to DeniseSB who kind of kicked my butt a little bit and made me realize how many character flaws the Derek I am writing really has. So this chapter is me trying to clean up his act a little bit as well as granting insight and developing my characters even more. _

Derek watched out of the corner of his eye the way his daughter interacted with his son and his son's friend Levi. They were playing monopoly which no surprise Grace was excellent at. She was laughing at the two boys who were being sore losers and shit-talking one another. Peyton and Levi took to Grace right away and it seemed as though she had taken to them too. Addison must have filled both of the boys in on the fact that Grace was joining them for dinner because neither one seemed surprised when Derek walked into the house with her. Grace sat on the floor criss-cross apple sauce style, Peyton was lying down and had his hands tucked under his chin and Levi was on his back tilting his head to look at the board. It was nice for Derek to see Peyton in this way, he looked happy, the way he was laughing and cutting up with both Levi and Grace. To Derek this almost felt like normalcy and this was a moment he wanted to save in his mind forever.

Addison came into the kitchen with a pile of more board games "To hold you over until dinner" she joked. They moved through the game of monopoly rather quickly in the hour since Derek and Grace had arrived back at the house. Derek had immediately begun to prepare dinner as Addison struggled to make conversation between Grace and the boys. Derek was thankful when she was able to come up with the idea that the three teens play a board game. It seemed to connect them in some way that made the encounter a little less awkward.

Derek's mind wandered to how he was supposed to confront Grace about the fact that he knew he was her father. Of course he needed more proof but his gut was telling him she was his. He needed to somehow get ahold of her birth certificate and see who was listed as her mother, because if Meredith Grey was her mother, there was no one other than Derek that could be her father. Addison pulled him out of his thoughts "Derek, can I talk to you?" she asked

"Yeah" Derek said checking the timer on the homemade pizza he made. It was due to go off in five minutes

"Pey, can you get the pizza out of the oven when the timer goes off? Just let it cool on the stove" Derek requested

"Sure dad" Peyton said not looking up from his monopoly money where he was having to pay Grace for landing on her property.

"HA!" Grace exclaimed when Peyton handed her over the money for her property that was already covered in hotels.

Levi laughed along with Grace and Peyton shot them both angry looks "You two won't be laughing when the whole east side is covered in hotels" Peyton warned

"Yeah right dude, you haven't even bought any houses yet" Levi chimed in

Derek and Addison made their way into Derek's den that was located on the first floor of their house, a few doors away from the living room. Addison closed the door in the dimly lit room and turned on the lamp beside the desk.

She crossed her arms across her chest "Derek what's going on?" she asked without preamble cutting right to the point.

"What do you mean?" Derek asked, he knew what she was talking about but he needed to sort through it himself first and he didn't want to tell Addison about his feeling, if it turned out to be just that; a feeling, he would've created chaos where there wasn't need for any.

"When have you ever brought a co-worker let alone someone you're interviewing for a job over for dinner?"

"I haven't"

"You haven't, and suddenly you're brining this young girl home with you. Derek it's strange. She's what 16?"

"Almost, her birthday is in a few weeks" Derek answered lowly.

Addison gave him a knowing look "This isn't making sense. Your mood is all over the place and I can't do this anymore. Now you're bringing home strays and acting like you're happy. Unless this isn't a stray, are you having an affair?"

Derek was appalled and disgusted "You've got to be kidding me. She's 15 years old Addison" he yelled

"I don't know what to think anymore." Addison said in a low voice to remind him that the kids were just a few doors away.

"I have been faithful to you since we decided to make this work for Peyton. I've stayed with you all these years because of Peyton, because he's my son. Right?" Derek asked for the first time questioning Peyton's paternity to Addison

Addison was taken aback "Right." She stated with anger in her eyes

Derek took a deep breath "I was being polite bringing Grace to dinner. I didn't realize it would bother you so much" Derek started but was cut off by Addison, she had to say this while she still had the nerve. She had to give this man an out, he deserved this and so did she, and so did Peyton. They all needed an out and she hated herself for not saying this sooner

"Peyton's going to be headed off to college soon; he wants to go to Princeton. It will be just you and I in this big house alone. Every. Single. Day. I don't think you want that, and I don't want that. Not anymore. Peyton's older now, he understands what's going on, he see's how unhappy we both are. In order to be better parents, we need to be apart. We bring out the worst in one another"

"I agree" Derek said softly agreeing.

"We're getting divorced" he stated

"It's been a long time coming" Addison replied sighing

"Why did you choose now to want a divorce? We're supposed to be having a family dinner. Not to mention we have company " Derek said

"I know Derek but after today, I just can't pretend anymore. I just cannot do it. I know you want out and I want out too. We can't keep hating one another"

"I know. I don't want to hate you anymore" Derek said softly

"You still haven't forgiven me over the Mark thing, it's been seventeen years Derek" Addison said exasperated

"It's not that. I forgave you a long time ago for that. That doesn't sting me anymore" Derek said dropping his gaze to the floor

"Then what? Oh-" Addison said as realization hit her. He was still hurt over the Meredith thing.

"I'm sorry" he told her evenly

"I see Peyton as the blessing that kept us together, you see Peyton as what kept you away from Meredith Grey" Addison said to him. She wasn't angry, she couldn't be, Peyton wasn't his son and she made him believe all these years that he was.

"I love Peyton" Derek tried to defend

"I know you do, but-"

"No, I love Peyton. It was my decision to stay and work things out with you. He's my son and I know I haven't been the best father but at least I was there, for sixteen years I was there and" Derek had cut Addison off but then faltered off. He had been there for sixteen years for Peyton, he had been there for all of his sports games, for all his birthdays, he bought Peyton his first car. But what about Grace, he had missed everything, her first words, her first birthday, every birthday, her first boyfriend which he hoped to God hadn't happened yet. He missed 16 years' worth of memories. He didn't want to miss another second

"Addison, let's just have a decent night. For tonight I'm not going to hate you and you're not going to hate me. Let's give Peyton this, one night where his parents get along. We can go back to hating each other tomorrow"

"Okay" Addison agreed.

"I'll have the lawyer draw up the papers tomorrow. Let's just enjoy tonight"

They walked back into the living room to find Peyton dumping the board game "This thing is rigged" he said with a pout

"Someone just can't handle being beaten so badly at his own game" Grace smirked

"Basketball" Peyton chimed

"What?" Grace asked

"I challenge you to a game of basketball. Right now" Peyton said an evil glimmer in his eye

"Come on man, you're like more than a foot taller than her, how is that fair?" Levi asked sticking up for Grace

"I'll even give you Lev" Peyton said trying to get Grace to play against him by offering to let Levi be on her team.

"No basketball, it's dinner time" Derek said from the kitchen as he cut into the pizza's.

The boys ran into the kitchen like a bunch of animals during feeding hour at the zoo.

Grace stood back and watched. Addison poured herself a glass of wine from the liquor cabinet

"Hey, hey, hey. Ladies first. Addison, Grace" Derek said motioning for Addison and Grace to get their dinner.

"Yeah, ladies first" Grace said with a smirk directed at the boys as she sautéed past them and grabbed a plate. She put two pieces on her plate and stood awkwardly to the side, she didn't know where to sit.

"We'll eat in the dining room tonight, it's right over there" Derek said letting Grace know where to sit.

Once they were all seated at the table, a bit of awkwardness set in. Grace didn't really know what to talk about, she was happy that she was getting to spend time with her dad but at the same time she was leaving the day after tomorrow. Now that she met him she couldn't picture going back to her life without her dad present. What she didn't know was that Derek was thinking the same thing. He was going over and over in his head how he was going to tell her that he knew that he was her dad. His thoughts also had been drifting to Meredith, why hadn't she told him about his daughter? Is that why she left? Then a flashback came over him the way a hurricane comes over a town, there for utter destruction.

"_Derek, where are you taking me?" Meredith asked as Derek was pulling her into a storage closet. He had his hand under her arm and he could tell he was pinching her but she was resisting and he needed to talk to her right away. _

"_I told you to meet me at Joe's, I'm giving you time to make your decision" _

_Once they were in the storage closet Derek's eyes pleaded with her own. He took every ounce of her in, she was absolutely beautiful to him and he needed to remember this moment as the before. Although she had been robbed of a child hood and although he had hurt her so badly by not telling her about his wife there was still a tiny bit of innocence in her eyes. He needed to see that innocence one last time before he took what little she had left from her. _

"_I've already made my decision" Derek said looking at her with so much love that she was sure he was about to tell her, she was the one. _

"_Meredith….I…I love you too" he whispered to her. That wasn't what he was meaning to say but it was true. He loved her, he loved her more than anything at this moment, but he made a commitment when he took his vows 'For better or For worse' and right now was the worse. He also had a baby to consider. He had to do the right thing, as much as it hurt her and as much as it hurt him, he had to do what was right. _

_Meredith looked at him with so much hope, she wrapped her arms around him and he held her. She had tears that rolled down her face and Derek had tears in his own eyes. He held on to her and held her as closely as he possibly could. He wanted forever with her, but that wasn't going to happen. Reality hit him like a ton of bricks and he quickly pulled away from her._

_Meredith looked at him with a questioning look but all his eyes held was sadness. _

"_You deserve better" he begun _

"_You deserve better than a man who hid the fact that he was married, you deserve better than a man who makes mistake after mistake after mistake and you deserve better than hearing this from anyone other than me."_

_Meredith was worried, he just told her that he loved her and now he was saying she deserved better._

"_I love you, but I'm staying with Addison. I made a vow and I have to honor that. I'm so sorry" _

_Meredith tried as fast as she could to get out of the storage closet but he grabbed her and held her_

"_Let me go" she cried _

"_Addison's pregnant"_

_And with that Meredith's face changed, it went from fury, to sadness, to green, looking like she could throw up, to disgust and then it held nothing, it was void, her guard was up and her eyes were cold and glazed over._

"_I didn't want to say that to hurt you anymore Mer, I just I want this to come from me. It's the least I could do…was tell you myself."_

"_I never want to see you again. I hate you" Meredith said with such emotional disconnect it made Derek shutter. _

"_Meredith please" he begged but she was already out the door. He hated himself._

_The next time he saw Meredith she was on the elevator with Mark leaving the hospital to go home for the day he assumed. He never saw her again. _

"Earth to Derek" Addison said as took a giant gulp of wine

"It's just a result of old age, first it's the zoning out, then he's going to start forgetting us, he's going to get Alzheimer's, and then gone" Peyton joked

"My grandma had Alzheimer's" Grace blurted

"Sorry" Peyton said looking guilty

"It's okay, I never met her." Grace said looking at Derek, hoping she hadn't given away too much.

Derek was staring at her now, almost like he knew. But he quickly looked away

"I am not getting old" he told his son

Grace noticed that Levi was looking at her from across the table, she blushed a bit.

He wore an expression as if he was apologizing for his friend, Grace gave him a small smile.

"Are you two planning anything over break?" Addison asked Levi and Peyton

"Yeah we talked about taking a trip down to Grandfather Mountain in North Carolina, maybe go sledding or something if its snows any"

"That sounds like fun, maybe I'll take a few days off and come too" Derek stated. He needed to be a better father.

"Totally Dr. S" Levi agreed

"You two can take Grace as well" Addison said she was buzzed at this point. Derek met Grace's expression and saw that she was aware Addison was drinking just a little bit too much.

"Grace, what's your middle name?" Peyton asked

"Um...Elizabeth. Why?" She asked uncomfortably

"Grace is too much of a kiss ass name, you need something with more edge"

"Peyton" Derek warned

"There's nothing wrong with my name" Grace giggled

"I like your name Grace, it's cute" Levi said blushing and Grace smiled and blushed herself. Derek didn't like the attention Levi seemed to be paying to his most likely daughter.

"I can't work with your middle name either, last name" Peyton requested

"Peyton leave her alone" Derek barked.

"Grey" Grace said so softly it could barely be heard. She didn't know why she gave out that information, she had been trying to keep Derek from finding out all day but she liked his family, she liked Derek, Addison was being friendly, and even Peyton didn't bother her too much, she secretly always wanted a sibling. She wanted to get to know her dad better and she wanted to spend time here, she liked D.C.

Addison was drunk and after the mention of her last name, Addison snorted and excused herself from the table and went into the kitchen to pour herself more wine .Derek tried to make eye contact with Grace but she was looking down.

"Awesome, you're nickname is GiGi, but only I can call her that. Got it?" Peyton informed not realizing the tension that had just engulfed the entire room.

Levi knew this was Peyton's way of accepting Grace as his friend, and not a friend to screw around with. Peyton seemed to respect Grace and that made Levi relax.

A few minutes passed, Grace picked at her food no longer feeling hungry, Derek was finished and Peyton got up to get more pizza and check on his mom.

"Um..Derek. I don't really feel well. Can you drive me back to my hotel?" Grace asked and Derek noticed that it seemed like Grace was about to cry.

"Yeah ofcourse" Derek said getting up from the table. He felt horrible , he didn't know if Peyton had made her uncomfortable or if she was upset for giving out her last name. She wouldn't make eye contact with him which scared him. He didn't want his daughter suddenly to cut him off and avoid him.

Levi was royally pissed at Peyton, he liked Grace and Peyton had driven her away with his insistent questioning. After Grace and Derek had grabbed their coats and left, Levi grabbed his coat and walked out the door slamming it behind him.

"Dude, where are you going?" Peyton asked Levi as Levi headed for his truck

"As far away from you as possible" Levi stated angrily

"Why?" Peyton asked, he didn't get at all what was going on.

"I liked her man, okay? Just because I don't screw around like you all the time doesn't mean that I don't ever like a girl. I really liked her"

"You just met her" Peyton scoffed

"Yeah and I wanted to get to know her better, give her my number or something"

"I'm sorry, I didn't think I was upsetting her, she bantered back with me all night, she seemed fine until I asked her what her last name was"

"That's the thing you don't think"

Derek and Grace's car ride was silent

"I'm sorry about my son, he can't help himself sometimes"

"Thank you for answering my questions and everything and thanks for dinner" Grace said still staring out of the window dismissing Derek's approach to talk about what happened at dinner.

"Do you still want to see the white house tomorrow, Peyton doesn't have to come"

Grace smiled slightly "He can come" she said as she looked at Derek for the first time since Peyton asked her what her last name was.

He grinned at her "Where's your mom?" he sputtered out

"She's back home, in New York"

"You came here by yourself?" Derek asked

"Uh yeah" Grace said looking at the floorboard of the car

"It's dangerous for you to come to a foreign city by yourself, there are people out there that could kidnap you and take advantage of you. I don't like it at all that you here alone" Derek stated

"It's fine Derek, I'm leaving the day after tomorrow" Grace informed him.

Derek's heart sank, he hadn't even worked up the nerve yet to tell her that he knew she was his daughter and now she was leaving.

He pulled up at the hotel and he felt weird like he was leaving his daughter alone with people she didn't know and he didn't know how safe she would be.

He parked the Escalade and un-did his seat belt and went to get out of the car. "What are you doing?" Grace asked confused.

"I'm making sure you get into your room safely, there are creeps everywhere" Derek told her as they made their way inside of the hotel together.

He rode the elevator up with her and stood back as she got her hotel key out and made her way into her room.

"I'll pick you up here tomorrow at 10?"

"Sounds good" Grace offered him a smile.

Derek was relieved that at least he knew she was safe tonight, but he couldn't fight the nagging feeling like he was doing something wrong.

"Hey Grace, can I borrow your phone? I need to make a quick phone call and I left mine at home" Derek asked

Grace handed him her phone and he retreated further down the hallway as he scrolled through her contacts. When he found the one that said Mom he pulled the pen out of his pocket and quickly wrote down on his hand what he hoped would be Meredith's number.

"Thanks and I'll see you tomorrow at 10, okay?" he told her as he knocked on her door to give her back her phone

"Bye Derek" Grace said offering him a smile.

Not ten minutes after Derek left there was another knock on Grace's door.

Grace's eyes grew wide as she saw her mom infront of her looking as though she hadn't gotten any sleep.

"Mom" Grace said as she could feel herself panic

"Grace Elizabeth Grey, I have been driving for 8 hours to get here, I spent three of those hours in traffic. Now let me in" Meredith said scooting past her daughter and plopping down on the bed

"Mom, I..I can explain" Grace cried

"This morning I go online to check my credit card statement, just to make sure the card is working since sometimes it has problems working outside of the state. To my surprise I see charges made in Washington D.C, and so I panicked and called Lauren's parents. They informed me that my fifteen year old daughter had not gone on vacation and that you told Lauren you were sick with the flu. I called your phone over a hundred times today Grace and you didn't answer me once, I was worried sick"

"Mom, I'm so sorry"

"Grace, tell me now before I get even more angry if I open that mini fridge am I going to find a bottle of tequila and is there going to be a boy hiding in that bathroom, because so help me God, Grace if you're going down that path"

Grace went over and opened the bathroom door and then opened the mini fridge

"No mom" Grace said quietly

"Come here" Meredith said and opened her arms out so she could hug her daughter. Grace wrapped her arms tightly around her mom resting her head on her mother's shoulder.

"Sweetie, you aren't a liar. This isn't like you. What are you even doing here?" Meredith asked

Grace inwardly gulped as tears pooled her blue eyes. "I wanted to meet my dad" Grace sobbed.

Meredith comforted her daughter, she understood what Grace was feeling but she had to find out how much Grace knew about her dad at this point.

"Did you meet him?"

"Yes"

"Did he recognize you?" Meredith asked

"I don't think so, he said I reminded him of someone but wouldn't say who"

"We're leaving first thing in the morning" Meredith said

"No, mom we can't. I like Derek and he's nice to me, he even invited me over for dinner and I have a brother, and I always wanted a sibling. Mom you can't just decide that I can't know my dad, it isn't fair"

"Gracie this is what's best for you" Meredith tried

"No, it's what's best for you" Grace yelled

"Derek and Addison are unhappy mom, he doesn't love her, I can tell. I think he still loves you and mom if we just tell him maybe it can work and he can move to where we live and"

"Grace, your father isn't going to move to New York, he's been with Addison for years now, that is his wife and he already has a family and so do you, you have me and your Uncle Mark"

"But why can't we just tell him he's my dad?" Grace cried

"Because he already knows about you" Meredith yelled out of anger before she could stop herself.

"No he doesn't" Grace cried looking her mom square in the face

"This is what I was trying to protect you from. I wrote your dad a letter before you were born telling him about you and he didn't…he wanted to make things work with Addison and his son. I'm sorry" Meredith said hating that she had to hurt her daughter like this

"No mom, Derek he isn't like that. He's taking me on a tour of the White House tomorrow. He wouldn't abandon you and me like that" Grace cried trying to wrap her mind around what her mom was saying.

"I'm sorry" Meredith told Grace full of emotion

"But we're leaving tomorrow morning and we're going back home" Meredith said with finality

Grace gave her mom a menacing look before going into the bathroom and slamming the door.

Meredith knew she needed a minute as she sighed and sat back down on the bed hating herself for hurting her daughter and hating Derek for giving Grace some sort of hope. Suddenly Meredith's phone rang with a number she didn't recognize

"Hello" she answered on the third ring

"Meredith?" the caller asked instantly Meredith Grey was transported to her intern year.

"Derek" she breathed

What to expect in the coming chapters: There is going to be a whole lot of angst but I promise eventually this story is going to settle down and we're going to see a happier side to these characters.

Expect an eventual Meredith/Derek confrontation

An Addison/Derek confrontation when he discovers she hid the letter

Also there is going to be a moment between Grace and Derek in the coming chapter where she admits to him that she is his daughter, please review!


	10. The Truth will always come out

_The reviews I received made me so happy! I enjoyed the fact that a lot more of you seem to be enjoying this fanfic. Please keep reviewing and I will keep updating quickly. _

_Also this is a sad chapter, and it was a hard one to write. _

"Hold on" Meredith said quietly into the phone as she propped herself out of bed and left the hotel room, softly closing the door as she exited.

"Let's get to the point I'm sure we both know why you're calling" Meredith told him not at all caring that these were the first words he was hearing her speak in over sixteen years.

Derek was taken aback, this was the first time he heard Meredith's voice in what felt like to him an eternity. She sounded the same but older, more mature and more protective of herself.

"We have a daughter" Derek more accused than stated

"I'm aware of that Derek. I've been raising her now for 15 years" Meredith said her voice dripping with sarcasm

"Don't you think that's something I would have liked to know" Derek accused his voice beginning to rise

Meredith scoffed "Now that you've met her, seen what a fantastic job I did raising her, you fell in love with her and now, now after all this time, now you want to come into her life, well I'm not going to let you"

"You don't get to just make all the decisions on your own, for the past fifteen years of her life you and you alone decided everything for her, including the decision not to tell me I even had a daughter" Derek yelled

Meredith scoffed "I knew you were a liar when Addison showed up in Seattle and you didn't tell me you were married, and when you made me believe you were going to divorce her but this Derek Shepherd is a low even for you" Meredith said her voice terrifyingly calm that it even made Derek shutter a bit before he went back to being angry.

"What are you saying? That I knew about Grace. How the hell would I know about her?, You just up and left town less than 24 hours after our conversation in the storage closet, you left your job, you left your friends, you left me" Derek finished off softly

"I left you? Derek. You chose your wife, you were having a baby with your wife. What did you want me to do? Stay in Seattle and watch you be happy and start a family with her. I loved you Derek." Meredith sputtered out

"I never wanted to cause you any pain, ever. I can't blame you for leaving, I can't. But you were never going to tell me about my daughter and that is unforgiveable"

"I did tell you, Damnit Derek, you know I told you. You got my letter because you wrote me back. Unless you suddenly have Alzheimer's drop the act. You knew about Grace for almost sixteen years and you never once had any interest in her and I did it without your help. We didn't need you then and we sure as hell don't need you now"

Derek couldn't focus on anything else Meredith was saying because he was so caught up in her statement that she had written him a letter and he responded to it. He never received anything from Meredith after she left. He called her multiple times but her phone number had been disconnected, he bugged Cristina for months about Meredith's whereabouts but she refused to tell him, now Meredith was telling him she contacted him, that she sent him something so personal as to inform him that they had a child together, he couldn't wrap his mind around it.

"I never received a letter Mer" Derek told her softly because he knew deep down she had to be telling the truth. Meredith wasn't a liar.

"I got a letter from you two week after I sent mine. It was on Seattle Grace stationary and it had your signature at the bottom and it basically said you had zero interest in anything I mentioned in my letter and that you didn't want me to contact you again. So I didn't"

"I promise you I never sent that, I would never abandon my child like that. Meredith I know I made mistakes but I love Grace. I loved her since the second I realized she was mine. I loved her in that moment because she was mine. If I had gotten your letter I would have loved her then too and I would have been there. You have to trust me on that"

Meredith sighed, she wanted to believe him, she wanted to believe that the man she has been in love with all these years really didn't know they had a child together that he really wasn't a monster.

Before Derek could process the letter anymore another thought occupies his brain.

"Was Grace born pre-mature?" Derek asked urgently

"No, she was actually 2 weeks past her due date, why does that matter?"

"It just does, I am so sorry Meredith that I never received your letter, I am. We can't go back and as much as I wish we could, we can't. Now that I know, Grace I can't picture my life without her. I can't live knowing that my child is out there and that I can't know her. So I'm going to know her and from now on I'm going to be there financially and physically, I want a say in things" Derek stated firmly

"Grace and I are leaving tomorrow morning" Meredith blurted out

"Then have breakfast with me, the three of us sit down and have breakfast like a normal family and we'll work something out"

"I'll call you back and let you know" Meredith said and immediately hung up. She was emotionally drained, one phone call brought up 16 years of suppressed feelings and the thought of seeing Derek tomorrow after so much time put knots in her stomach. She felt physically sick and now she had to talk to Grace.

Derek entered his house and slammed the door, "Peyton go to Levi's now." Derek yelled as he passed his son lounging on the couch watching sports center.

Peyton had never seen his dad so angry, he quickly picked up his keys and shut the door behind him, he didn't want to be home for this. Derek opened every drawer in every room of the house, slamming them completely out of joint and tearing every single one out of the wall. He searched every single little nook and cranny he could think of. He quickly descended the stairs two at a time and opened the door to his and Addison's bedroom. She was sitting on the bed in a robe, her hair wet from what looked like a shower and tears were cascading down her face.

"Where's the letter" Derek seethed with a voice full of venom and a look so angry on his face that scared her.

'Derek" Addison began in hysterics

"Shut up" Derek whispered angrily "And give me my letter" he finished

Addison sobbed but reached into the pocket of her robe handing him the letter she knew he now knew about. Her hands shook and she placed it in his hands. He ripped it out of her hand and studied it for a second, it was definitely Meredith's handwriting, with a New York return address and a postage date of November 15th 1998. Furious didn't begin to describe how he felt.

He looked at Addison with so much disgust he couldn't fathom it.

"I will make sure this divorce is over so quickly it will make your head spin. You will live with this every day for the rest of your life, the fact that you forced a child to grow up without her father and the fact that you forced me to stay in a marriage I didn't want anymore. Have your stuff out of this house by tomorrow. I never want to see you again." Derek stated venomously

He turned to slam the door before he stopped himself "Oh and let Mark know he has a son, I'll inform Peyton"

Addison ran to Derek and tried to get him to listen to her

"Derek…I never opened it….I didn't know. I swear Derek I didn't know about her. I wouldn't do that. I just…I kept the letter from you because I was scared….You were so miserable after Meredith left. I knew you wanted her back, I knew you were in love with her but I was in love with you Derek. I wanted us to go back to how we were before"

Derek looked at her for a long moment "I'll never forgive you for this" he stated and looked at her so sadly before leaving the room and walking out of the house.

He pulled his escalade out of the drive way and stopped in the middle of the road. He had to read the letter right now, he needed this last conformation that Grace was really his.

He immediately recognized Meredith's handwriting as her words jumped off the page

_Derek,_

_I hope you're happy, I really do and not in a spiteful sarcastic way. I genuinely hope that you are happy with your decision and that your marriage is better than it was before. I'm not in such a great place right now. By now I'm sure you know I left, I just couldn't stay and watch you be happy with her while I was so in love with you. I found out after I left, I'm in New York by the way, that I'm pregnant. The baby is yours. We're having a little girl. I know that you love Addison and that you two are building your family back and that you are also having a child, but I know what it's like to grow up without a father. I don't want that for her, I want her to have a perfect life, the life I never got. I'm not going to force you to have a relationship with her (even though I hope you will), I just want you to know that in about a month there is going to be a tiny little girl in this world that belongs to the both of us. We made her together. I think I'm going to name her Elizabeth after both of our moms but I'm still not sure. If you're still the man I know that you are, I'm sure I'll be hearing from you soon. _

_-Meredith _

Derek read the letter 3 times and by the last time he was broken down in sobs, if he had gotten this letter, as difficult as this would have made his life, he would have been the happiest man in the entire world. Addison robbed him of that and in a way he robbed himself as well. As hard as that must have been on Meredith, she did the right thing, she tried to tell him. He couldn't be mad at her.

Tonight confirmed his speculation that Peyton wasn't really his. If Derek was Peyton's father then Grace would have had to have been conceived before Peyton was, however Grace was younger than Peyton which meant there was no way Peyton was really his. He hadn't been intimate with Meredith since Addison showed up. Although tonight he gained a daughter that didn't mean he intended on losing a son. Peyton in a way would always be his because he was the man who raised him. This was such a mess but first he had to do right by Peyton and he had to tell him.

He quickly called Peyton and told him to meet him at the hotel where Meredith and Grace were staying. Derek decided him and Peyton would get a room there to sleep because he didn't want to step foot in his house until Addison was gone. He controlled his temper as much as possible but he knew he couldn't see her anytime soon because he would lose it on her.

Derek decided to wait for Peyton in the lobby of the hotel.

When Meredith came back in the room Grace was sitting on the bed, her eyes puffy from crying.

Meredith reached over and hugged her daughter to her "I love you" she whispered to her and kissed her head

"I love you too" Grace told her mom and cried harder

Meredith rubbed her back soothingly until Grace calmed down enough to talk. "I want to go home" Grace whispered

"We can go home"

"I want to go home now. I think this whole thing was a mistake"

"It wasn't a mistake, you wanted to meet your dad and he's happy you came here. He called me when you were in the bathroom, he figured it out"

"How did he do that?" Grace asked shocked

"He's a brain surgeon, and you look like him, plus he can do math so it wasn't too hard to figure out"

"I thought my plan was flawless" Grace pouted

Meredith laughed and wiped away the few tears on Grace's face

"He didn't know about you. I sent him a letter telling him but he never got it"

"Really?"

"Really, and he wants to know you now. To make up for what all he missed"

Grace smiled a little

"But you're almost 16, you flew by yourself and stayed in a strange city all alone, which I'm still mad about by the way, I think you're old enough to make the decision how much or how little involvement you want from your dad"

"I really like Derek. He was really nice to me for the most part but I think I want things to stay how they are. I want to go back home with you and Uncle Mark and Derek can stay here with his family"

"Are you sure? You flew all the way out here to meet him and now he wants to be a part of your life, isn't that what you've always wanted"

"It was, it's just I don't think I want that anymore. Peyton, that's my half brother or whatever, needs him more than I do. I just think maybe it's too late."

"It's not too late"

"Mom I made up my mind. I want to go back home now"

"I guess I'll let Derek know then" Meredith stated taken aback.

This one is a little shorter and probably not how any of you expected things to go with Grace changing her mind. Don't worry though, this isn't the end of their relationship. More to come, keep reviewing, they make me want to continue on!


	11. Cold November Rain

Meredith sensed that Grace didn't want to discuss the Derek situation anymore. She was her mother's child, extremely stubborn and when she made her mind up about something or someone, that was it. They were lying on the bed on top of the covers in silence, both lost in their own thoughts. Meredith wanted nothing more than to go to bed but she needed to stay awake to make sure Grace was okay.

"Are you hungry?" Meredith asked after several minutes breaking the silence.

"Not really" was the reply she received as Grace turned her back from her and lye on her side facing away from her mother.

"I'm going to bed, I've have a long day" Meredith informed her daughter

Grace immediately felt guilty, her mom had worked what she was sure was close to a 34 hour shift and then had to drive hours upon hours all because Grace deceived her.

Grace crawled over and laid her head on Meredith's chest like she did when she was a little girl "I'm really sorry that I lied to you" Grace confessed looking at her mom with her bright blue eyes, the eyes that were all Derek.

Meredith wanted to be mad at her but she couldn't, not when she could see how sad Grace was. Meredith sighed and stroked Grace's hair "Just don't do it again"

"I won't, I promise" Grace immediately replied, thankful that her mom didn't seem to be mad anymore.

"I really am going to bed though, I can barely keep my eyes open"

Meredith got up and searched through the last minute bag she packed, underwear, a hairbrush and her makeup bag were the only three things that occupied the duffel bag. In her panic, she forgot the essentials, like pajamas. Grace laughed at how little her mom packed

"I brought one of Uncle Marks big T-shirts to sleep in, you can wear it" Grace informed handing Meredith Mark's New York Giants T-shirt.

"You know he's been looking for this for over a year" Meredith told her daughter with a smirk and an evil glint in her eyes.

"I know, but feel how soft it is, his loss is our gain" Grace giggled

Meredith laughed and went to the bathroom to change. While Meredith was in the bathroom changing, Grace put on her pajamas as well, one of Mark's other T-shirts and a pair of cotton pajama shorts with cherries on them. Five minutes after Meredith slipped in bed, she was out. Grace tried to do the same but she couldn't stop thinking about her father and Peyton and Addison and even Levi.

She heard her mom talking to Derek on the phone earlier and that alone made her decision for her. Her mom was trying so hard to sound so strong but she could hear the pain etched in her voice. She knew that to her mom losing Derek was the hardest thing she had ever done and proceeding with a relationship with Derek would be like a slap to her mom and Uncle Mark's faces. She wanted to meet her father and she did, shouldn't she be satisfied enough with that. Grace didn't want to hurt Peyton either, she didn't want to break up his family or make him resent her for stealing his dad away from him. She really liked Peyton and under different circumstances she could see them being friends. Too many people would be hurt as a result of her getting to know her dad better, it would be best for them just to pretend it never happened.

Peyton convinced Levi to come to the hotel with him, he knew that whatever his dad wanted to talk to him about had to be bad and he needed the support of his best friend. Twenty minutes later they arrived at the hotel that was just inside the city. Derek was a little surprised when he saw Levi with his son and asked Levi if he wouldn't mind giving them some time to talk. Levi agreed and made his way through the hotel trying to find a game room or something to do.

"What's going on" Levi asked

"We need to talk"

Grace could not stand being still in bed any longer and decided to get a snack out of the hotel vending machine. She quickly scribbled a note to her mom in case she woke up and Grace wasn't back yet. She searched all over the seventh floor for a vending machine but couldn't find one so she took the elevator down to the first floor. She quickly found her treasure and bought a package of Reese's cups, her favorite. She stepped back onto the elevator and was startled when she saw Levi standing inside with his own package of Reese's cups.

"You have good taste" Levi remarked holding up his own candy

"What are you doing here?" Graced asked as she hit the button for the 7th floor.

"I came with Peyton" Levi shrugged

"Peyton's here too?"

"Yeah and Derek, Derek is apparently talking to Peyton about something important"

"No" Grace said aggravated and sighed

"I'm taking it you know something about what's going on?" Levi smirked

"I've made such a mess"

"You can talk to me, I know you don't know me that well, but I'm good at giving advice"

"I haven't laughed in a week, like really, really laughed. I don't want to talk about Derek, and I don't want to be sad or confused anymore"

"Okay" Levi nodded

Grace turned her attention back to the elevator doors and got off when it hit the seventh floor. Levi followed behind her

"You're following me?" she asked with a smile

"I know you don't want to talk about Derek, but he's kind of the reason I'm stuck here and the hotel staff are about one more floor away from kicking me out on my ass"

Grace laughed "My mom is sleeping, probably not the best idea for you to come in"

"Parents love me, you know?" Levi grinned

"Oh I'm sure they do, but you haven't met my mom, she doesn't like anyone who wakes her up, no matter how charming they may be" Grace smirked

"You think I'm charming?" Levi asked with a raised eyebrow

"You wish" Grace smirked and went to open her hotel door before Levi pushed it closed

"You've had a shitty time in D.C?" Levi asked

"Clearly"

"How about you have one good memory of this trip?" Levi asked her, his greenish-grey eyes full of hope

Grace looked torn, if she was being honest with herself she liked Levi, he was attractive, he was tall like her brother and had big muscles which were always a plus in her book. He had light brown hair and kind eyes but she didn't need to complicate this anymore. Levi knew she was about to turn him down and quickly stepped in

"Consider it an early Christmas Present" he bargained

"Okay" Grace said with a smile. He grabbed her hand and pulled her through the hotel running.

"What are we doing?" Grace asked out of breath as they ran through the stairwells of the hotel, Levi seemed to know exactly where he was going

"Making a memory" Levi stated and stopped running, they were both out of breath and he was now holding her and staring into her eyes. If this was a movie he would have kissed her right here in this perfect moment, but this wasn't a movie. A glimmer in his eyes told her that he was up to no good, as he pulled her hand and they made their way into the hotels kitchen

"I just need to grab a few things" he told her

Peyton had taken the news exceptionally well, he remained calm throughout Derek's entire admission about Grace being his daughter and about the fact that Peyton wasn't his biological son. Peyton almost acted as though he expected it. Derek told him that he could stay at the hotel tonight but Peyton wanted to see his mother and be with her. Even though she had clearly made some awful mistakes, she was still his mom and he knew she was probably hurting. Peyton called Levi telling his friend that he was ready to leave but Levi informed Peyton that he was staying at the hotel to hang out with Grace. Peyton was fine with it and ventured home.

Ever since Derek realized Meredith was in D.C he had to fight the urge to see her. He wanted to see her so desperately, it was more of a need than a want. H e looked at the time and noticed it was only a little after eleven and decided that Meredith would most likely still be up. He also wanted to see Grace too, and apologize to her for missing sixteen years of her life. Something he knew he would always hate himself for no matter who was to blame. He quickly made his way onto her floor and stood outside the room number he memorized Grace going into earlier.

To be honest he memorized everything he could about Grace from the second he realized she was his. Her giggle which was just like Meredith's, the way she ate the crust of her pizza first, how she wouldn't make eye contact when she was upset, the way her eyes would light up just like his own used to, and how perceptive she was to everything around her.

He took a long deep breath outside of the hotel door, he was about to see Meredith for the first time in almost two decades and his stomach was in knots. He tried to rehearse what he was going to say to her but he knew the second he saw her he would forget everything he planned. With a final breath, he knocked on her door.

Meredith's eyes quickly opened at the disturbing noise and panicked when she didn't see Grace in the bed. The lamp was on in the D.C hotel room and she saw the fast note Grace left on the coffee table _Went to get a snack, _She relaxed realizing that Grace was safe and that she probably just forgot her room key and couldn't get back in the room. She flung open the door expecting to see her daughter but was caught off guard when there before her stood Derek Shepherd.

He let out a small but noticeable gasp when he saw Meredith standing there in only a large t-shirt. Her long legs were bare and her blonde waves were surrounding her face, she had the imprint of the pillow on her face and he could tell he woke her up. She was just as beautiful as he remembered if not more, and every word that he could think of to say to her quickly left his brain. Not a word was spoken between the two.

Meredith slammed the door shut and went in search for something to put on. She found a pair of Grace's black leggings and threw her sweater from earlier on, atop Mark's t-shirt. She tried to smooth her hair a bit but it was no use, quickly she pulled it back in a pony tail. This is not how she wanted Derek to see her after so long but then she began to wonder why she even cared. It's not like she was single and still attracted to Derek, plus he was married, still. If she was being honest with herself though, she found him just as attractive now as she did when she was his intern.

Derek was waiting for her to open the door again and when she did she quickly explained that she thought he was Grace.

Derek couldn't speak for a moment, the woman he spent almost two decades pining for was standing before him and all he could concentrate on was how much he wanted to hold her and apologize to her. He would spend the rest of his life apologizing to her if he thought it would make any difference.

"Can I come in?" Derek asked

Meredith stood back and widened the door allowing him to enter. He found a seat near a round table, this was a very large hotel room, much larger than anyone he had stayed at. Meredith looked at him expectantly making it clear she wasn't going to be the one to start conversation.

"I don't know what to say"

"Well, neither do I" Meredith confessed crossing her arms over her chest.

"We could start now with the basics, how are you?" Derek asked

"I'm fine"

Derek nodded at her, she was always fine.

"You're still just as beautiful as I remember" Derek admitted softly

"Derek" Meredith sighed tucking a piece of hair that had fallen in her eyes under her ear

"I'm sorry, for everything that happened in Seattle, for not telling you I was married, for letting Addison humiliate you when she came back. You left everything behind because of me and I'm sorry. I have been sorry for years and I don't expect your forgiveness and I know it's too late. But I am so sorry"

"I had to leave, I couldn't stay. It would have destroyed me" Meredith responded honestly after a few moments of silence passed

"It destroyed me, I'm not the same person I was when I first moved to Seattle" Derek replied

"I'm not the same person either, Grace changed me for the better, becoming a mother changed me"

"If I could go back and do things differently-"

"You can only move forward" Meredith responded cutting him off

There was silence again.

"I want to be a part of my daughter's life. I feel like we should work out a custody agreement or something, it doesn't have to be right now. I know I woke you up and that you're tired. I just…I had to see you and I have to start getting to know her"

"There isn't going to be a custody agreement" Meredith said tiredly

Dereks face scrunched up in confusion "Isn't this how things like this work? The parents agree on dates and times that each parent gets with the child"

"Things like this don't happen" Meredith scoffed

"Well no, it's abnormal but isn't that what divorced parents do?"

"We aren't divorced, we were never even married"

"Meredith you know what I mean, I can come to New York as much as you want, if that makes it easier. I'll have to figure something out with the White House but it's whatever you and Grace want"

"It's what Grace wants?" Meredith questioned

"Of course, whatever she wants"

"There isn't going to be a custody agreement Derek, Grace doesn't want you involved in her life. She wants things to go back to how they were before"

"Like when I didn't even know she existed, no. I' m her father, she came here to meet me and I want a say in this" Derek replied getting defensive

"It's what she wants, I'm not going to force her to spend time with you" Meredith argued back

"She. Doesn't. Even. Know. You" Meredith continued

"That's not my fault"

"It is your fault"

"Meredith, I explained to you, I never got your letter. Addison kept it from me… I just read it tonight for the first time"

"This isn't just about the letter, this goes back to Seattle. I can't blame you for going back to Addison she was your wife. I understand, but you should have told me from the beginning that you were married"

"Would it have changed things?"

"Of course, this" she said gesturing between the two of them "would have never happened"

Derek was so angry he felt like he could punch a wall, angry at Addison, angry at Meredith, angry at Mark, and in a way even angry at Peyton, but most of all he was angry at himself.

"I want to see my daughter and I want to be a part of her life" he demanded

"No" Meredith replied as if it was the most simple thing in the world

"I'm her father, I have a say in this damnit. You can't just decide that you alone get to make all the rules for this thing"

"Actually I do get to make all the rules, you haven't spent one birthday with her, you don't know her first words, her favorite color, who her best friend is, her likes and dislikes. I know all those things because I've been here, this whole time taking care of my child, while you've been with your wife and son."

Derek felt like he had been slapped in the face, her words stung him but it was the truth. Derek hadn't been there and Meredith had, raising their daughter all alone.

"You're never going to forgive me" Derek stated half bitterly

"This was Grace's decision and I support it" Meredith replied her face as cold as stone

Derek shook his head "I'm divorcing Addison, I'm meeting with a lawyer and I am doing what I should have done 17 years ago, I'll take you to court over this Meredith. I want a relationship with my daughter…I love her"

"If you loved her Derek, you would respect that she doesn't want to know you. It's too late for her. You're going to go to court and maybe get some type of minimal custody, you're going to force her to spend time with you and she doesn't know you, think about how much she's going to resent you. If you want anything to do with her ever, you won't take this to court"

Derek felt the tears brim in his eyes but as quickly as he could blinked them back.

"I can't pretend I never met her, she's mine. She looks like me" Derek whispered the last part sighing

Meredith softened a bit and placed her hand on his shoulder, immediately they both felt the electricity run through them.

Derek's sad eyes met hers and he stared into the green for as long as he could before Meredith broke eye contact.

"I'm sorry Derek "Meredith responded wanting him to get the hint that she was too tired to continue this conversation.

Derek ran his hand through his hair and made his way to the door of the hotel

"Sorry for waking you. Can you just… tell Grace I love her" he stated getting emotional, realizing he wasn't going to get the chance to know the little girl he made with the love of his life.

"I will" Meredith said and offered a small smile

He opened the door to leave and stepped out before turning to look at Meredith one last time, drinking her in

"It was good to see you Meredith" he told her with a sad expression

"It was good to see you Derek"

Thank you to those who left me reviews, I loved reading them. We have much more drama to come, Derek still doesn't know that Mark helped raise his daughter and Mark has yet to be informed that he has a son.

Next chapter Grace and Meredith go back to New York and Derek spends some time thinking about what it is he is going to do about Grace wanting nothing to do with him.


	12. Heart to Heart

Meredith sat glued to her hotel bed. She was at a complete and utter loss, seeing Derek brought back years and years of resentment. However, seeing him made her realize that she would never really hate him- hate him. Sure there had been times over the years like when she knew he was missing another one of Grace's firsts that she hated him. That hate however was guided by one thing and that was love. She would always love Derek Shepherd, he was the father of their daughter, the complete other half to the one person she loved most in the world; Grace. Even through the years she spent without him in her life, there were moments every day that Grace would do something that reminded her of her lost love. When Grace smiled, or had the desire to go fishing or hike in the outdoors, anytime Grace's temper flared and she said something she didn't mean, or anytime her blue eyes lit up, it was like a tiny piece of Derek was still in her life. Except a huge part of Derek was constantly in her life and it came in the form of Grace, no matter how much she tried to forget him, she never would. Not one day would ever go by for her that Derek Shepherd didn't cross her mind.

Meredith sat on the bed and rubbed her thighs down to her knees in an attempt to calm herself. Derek showing up and being McDreamy again wasn't going to happen for her, she was no longer the young intern that fell in love with him. Time had changed Meredith, she was bolder now, more protective, and she wasn't love sick over him anymore. She built a life, a brand new life, without him and her daughter wanted to fall in the same footsteps. She had to get out of D.C, it was making her dizzy. She needed to find Grace, pack their things and leave immediately.

Levi had his arm wrapped around Grace's shoulder as they got off the elevator, what happened tonight and what they did would be Vegas to them, what happened in Vegas stayed in Vegas, no one was to know where they went or what happened. They were laughing "I needed that" Grace told Levi with a grin "I did too" he told her and kissed her on the forehead. "One good memory of D.C" "I'm glad it was with me" Levi smiled. They said their goodbyes and Grace walked into the hotel room to see her mom packing her stuff.

"You're up" Grace stated

"Yeah, I'm not tired anymore, let's just go ahead and leave now"

"Okay" Grace said agreeing and began putting the rest of her clothes in her suitcase.

They packed up the car and left D.C. The ride home was silent, they were both lost in their own thoughts and neither one felt like starting conversation. Grace had to fight back the urge to cry, she missed her dad even though she barely spent any time with him. Meredith looked over and saw how sad Grace looked and took her hand. Grace looked at her mom and both their faces mirrored the others.

Derek had gotten a hotel room after his talk with Meredith, he couldn't go home because Addison was there but also because home never felt like home. He felt more at home with Meredith in the 20 minutes he saw her tonight than he had at his own home with Addison in decades. He knew he should probably get some sleep but he didn't know how, his daughter was leaving tomorrow and wanted nothing from him. He already spent almost 16 years of her life being a dead-beat not by choice but now he was being one by choice, just not his own.

If he took Meredith to court over Grace, Grace would hate him. If he let her go, it would break his heart and he would constantly hate himself and everyone around him for never getting a chance with his daughter. It was a no-win situation.

Then there was the matter of Peyton and Addison. Just because he wasn't biologically Peyton's dad didn't mean that he was going to cut him off and leave him. Peyton in his mind had been his son for 16 years that can't just disappear because of some paternity results. Derek wanted desperately to talk to anyone but he didn't have very many friends. He spent the last 16 years in a shell; he never got too close to anyone or let anyone in. The last best friend he had was Mark Sloan and that was years upon years ago. To be honest with himself he had forgiven Mark for the affair with Addison, at this point in his life holding a grudge against Mark was pointless.

Mark was the real father of his son and for some reason that didn't hurt Derek or make him angry. In the back of his mind he always knew Peyton was Mark's, he just never let himself think about it for too long to where the idea would stay. If anyone could relate to his situation it was his old best friend, Mark had a son he probably never knew about just like Derek had a daughter he never knew about.

He needed a friend so he called his old number wondering if in the years since he left Seattle he had changed his number. Derek never put two and two together and Meredith and Mark left at the same time and possibly could have left together.

"Hello" a gruff voice answered on the third ring

"It's Derek"

Mark was silent for a moment "Long time, no see" came Mark's booming voice over the line and Derek could tell by the tone that Mark had a huge smirk across his face

"I forgive you for sleeping with Addison"

"Shit man, it's been 17 years. I would hope".

Derek suppressed a smile "Just thought you should know"

"That's not why you called" Mark said calling him out

"No" Derek agreed.

"It's midnight, I haven't heard from you in 17 years. Not that I'm not happy to hear from you but why are you calling?" Mark asked

"Do you remember Meredith Grey? The intern that I dated when I first came to Seattle." Derek asked

Mark became uneasy, he didn't like where this was leading "I do" Mark said not wanting to give away any information but not wanting to lie to his old best friend.

"I have a daughter with her. I just found out, my daughter she came to D.C to meet me and now she wants nothing to do with me. Meredith must have found out that she came here and I saw her tonight for the first time. I have a daughter Mark, her name is"

"Grace" Mark said softly cutting Derek off

"How do you know that?" Derek asked with an edge in his voice

Mark was quiet for a moment.

"Damnit Mark, Damnit I swear to God. You couldn't just fuck up one marriage for me, you had to go and fuck the woman I love too. Fuck you Mark" Derek spat, he was so angry he couldn't breathe he didn't even hear the words coming out of his mouth before he said them.

"Get a hold of it man, I've never been with Meredith. Not even once" Mark yelled

Derek scoffed

"I have NEVER been with Meredith in that way, I've never even kissed her"

"How do you know about my daughter?" Derek seethed

Mark took a breathe "When Addison found out she was pregnant it was too much for me and Mer, especially Meredith. She took it hard. We left Seattle together and I took her to New York. We bought a house and both started working at Mt. Sinai. Three weeks after we got to New York, Meredith realized she was pregnant and the past almost 16 years of Grace's life, I've helped raise her"

"You were my best friend…My best friend. You couldn't have called me and told me 'Hey you have a daughter'. That's information I would've liked to know"

"Meredith wrote you a letter and told you. You wanted nothing to do with Grace"

"Fuck you Mark. You knew me my entire life, you knew I would never abandon my child. I never got Meredith's letter"

"I'm not sorry Derek. You and Addison were back together, she was pregnant. Meredith was broken. You broke her and I put her back together. I helped her raise her daughter, who is amazing by the way. I will never be sorry for that. Ever." Mark spat

"Go to hell" Derek spouted

"Your pathetic" Mark said into the phone

"I'm pathetic? You're the one so desperate for a family that you stole mine, not once but twice"

Mark laughed "I didn't steal anything, they both came willingly"

Derek was furious. "You take everything from me. Addison was pregnant with your son. His name is Peyton." Derek said eerily calm

"What?"

"Yeah, you raised my daughter and I raised your son"

"I have a son?"

"Take it up with Addison, I'm done with this conversation and I am done with you" Derek spat

Mark was waiting for Grace and Meredith inside the house. He spent the night sitting on the steps of the stairs waiting for them to get home. He called Addison multiple times but couldn't get ahold of her. He was hurt that Meredith never told him that Grace lied and really went to D.C, he saw them as a team when it came to raising Grace, but the older Grace got the more Meredith took over the majority of the parenting. He understood that Meredith was her biological mother and that he wasn't her biological father but he always looked at Grace as the child he never had.

"Hey" Meredith said coming into the house startled that Mark was there

"Uncle Mark" Grace said with a smile and gave him a side hug. Mark hugged her to him and met Meredith's gaze which was looking anywhere but at him.

"I made a fresh pot of coffee, it's in the kitchen" Mark told Meredith trying to meet her gaze.

"Thanks" she said and walked into the kitchen to make herself a cup.

Grace went up to her room and Mark followed Meredith into the kitchen. He held onto the counter tops to keep himself calm

"Were you ever going to tell me that you were in D.C" Mark asked with an edge to his tone

Mark met Meredith's questioning gaze as she sipped her coffee out of one of their mugs

"Yeah I know about D.C. Derek called me"

"Can we talk about this later?" Meredith asked, she was exhausted and didn't have it in her to fight with someone else

"No. I've been up all night, I want to talk now" he asserted

"Grace wanted to meet her dad" Meredith sighed

"I get that but she lied to us. How long do you want to ground her?" Mark asked

"I'm not grounding her" Meredith shrugged as she continued sipping her steaming beverage

Mark crossed his arms over his chest "She LIED to us Mer, she got on a plane and flew by herself. She's 15. I can't have my kid deceiving us like that. She needs to learn her lesson so that it doesn't happen again"

Meredith rolled her eyes " It's not going to happen again. Grace is sorry"

"I'm sure she is, but I don't want to be that easy on her. We're the parents here, we set the rules"

"No, I'm the parent here. I am Mark. Not you." Meredith argued

"That's bullshit, I've been just as much a part of her life as you"

"Yes Mark you have, and I am grateful, but Grace is my child not yours. I can discipline her on my own"

Mark shook his head. "I'm too tired to argue with you over this" he told her

"Then don't. Grace is upset enough….I don't want to kick her while she's down"

Mark sighed inwardly agreeing with her "How bad was it?" he asked softly

"I tried to protect her from this. I don't know how much time she spent with Derek but he knows"

"I know he called me. I think he just needed to talk to someone or something. He knows that I helped raise Grace"

"Grace doesn't want anything to do with him, she wants everything to go back to normal"

"I don't think that can happen"

"Neither do I, Derek is persistent"

"He told me that I'm the father of his and Addison's son" Mark gulped

Meredith sat her coffee cup down "Do you believe him"

"I think I have to, Derek's an asshole but he wouldn't lie about that"

Meredith shook her head a small smirk played out over her face, Mark looked at her like she had three heads. Suddenly without warning Meredith busted out laughing

"What the hell are you laughing at?" Mark asked half bewildered and half amused

"It's just…hilarious…..All this time…Derek didn't know about Grace, you didn't know about your son…Derek raised your son and you raised his daughter…..And you both hated eachother because you slept with his wife" Meredith was hysterically laughing barely able to get out what she was saying

"So not funny" Mark said taking away Meredith's coffee from her.

Meredith was laughing so hard she couldn't breathe

"I need tequila" she told him as she sobered up

He gave her a smirk and went to the liquor cabinet, pulling out their old friend.

He poured them both a glass and the friends laughed at the atrocity that was their lives.

A week had passed since Meredith brought Grace home. Mark finally got in contact with Addison and after a heated fight they agreed that Mark would come to D.C at the beginning of the new year, she wanted one last normal Holliday. Derek had sent Grace gifts for her Christmas but she didn't open them, she wanted to forget everything that had to do with her dad and opening his gifts would be too hard.

Addison and Derek tried to have a normal Christmas for Peyton. They barely spoke the entire Holliday and Derek ended up going into work earlier than he had planned because the tension was too much at the house.

Derek tried to call Grace on Christmas but she didn't answer so he left her a voicemail which she never listened to.

The next day after Christmas, Addison and Derek's divorce was finalized and both decided to sell the house.

December 30th 2014, Manhattan NY. 8:34 AM

Meredith and Mark put the finishing touches on Grace's birthday pancakes. Chocolate Chip pancakes covered in peanut butter with 16 candles on top of them.

Grace was born at 8:36 AM, so every year for her birthday they always woke her up at the exact time she was born. Meredith and Mark quietly walked up the steps and burst into Grace's room with her birthday pancakes.

Mark came over and sat on her bed while Meredith held the plate

"Happy Birthday Sleepy Head" Mark's voice boomed waking her up as he shuffled her hair out of her face

"Happy Birthday Baby" Meredith said and placed a kiss on Grace's forehead

Grace giggled "Happy Birthday to me" she said with a smile as she brought the pancakes close to her

"Eat up kid, we have a fun day planned for you" Mark assured her

"It's not every day you turn 16" Meredith said with a smile

Grace grinned at both her mom and Mark as they left the room to let her eat her breakfast and get dressed for the day.

An hour later, Meredith, Mark and Grace made their way into the city

"So I say we spend the next few hours shopping in Times Square and then we eat in Little Italy" Grace said making plans for the day.

"Anything you want" Meredith agreed.

Grace had a great birthday, she spent the day with both surgeons, which was rare considering their work schedules. By the time they made it home it was passed six and they had the house set up for Grace's birthday dinner, with cake, presents and balloons. A few of her friends were coming over at 7 to help celebrate.

Grace was talking a mile a minute about all the purchases she made as they got out of the car and went to walk into the house.

"Uncle Mark, carry me I'm too tired to walk any further" Grace said dramatically

"Only because it's your birthday" Mark agreed and Grace hopped onto his back

"This reminds me when she was three and made you carry her around everywhere for almost a year" Meredith commented

To anyone on the outside they looked like the perfect family, it seemed as though Mark and Meredith were together and Grace was their daughter. That's exactly what it looked like to Derek who was waiting on the steps on their house.

"Derek" Meredith said startled she was the first to see him

Derek looked from Meredith to Grace, not daring to look at Mark. Grace was still on Mark's back and Mark was too stunned so he stood frozen.

"Happy Birthday" Derek said quietly and handed Grace a small box that was wrapped in light blue paper

"Thanks" Grace said and hopped down off Mark's back taking the gift from Derek.

"Can I talk to Derek alone?" Grace asked looking at Mark and Meredith

They were both reluctant "Okay, but its cold so come in soon" Meredith told her

Mark gave Derek a hard glare in which Derek returned as both he and Meredith went inside the house

"You can open it" Derek said looking at his daughter, he had missed her so much.

"Why are you here?" Grace asked looking at her father, still holding onto the gift

"I've missed your first steps, your first word, potty training, your first day of school, I've missed every birthday. I have missed everything Grace and I don't want to miss anything else, including this birthday"

Grace nodded "You being here hurts my mom and I don't like that" Grace admitted

"I don't want to hurt your mother, I never wanted to hurt you or her Grace" Derek said sincerly

Grace looked down at the gift

"I don't want to ruin your birthday, I want you to be happy today and every day, if you want me to leave, I will leave, but Grace-"

"You can stay" Grace said quietly

Derek smiled "Will you open that?" he asked softly gesturing to her gift

Grace smiled and opened the blue Tiffany's box

Derek watched Grace open the gift and when he saw her eyes light up he felt relieved

"It's so pretty" Grace said holding onto the silver heart necklace Derek gave her

"It's a locket, open it" Derek said softly never taking it off her

"I love you- Dad" Grace read

"You don't have to call me dad, I just, I'm your dad and I love you and if you want to, you can" Derek rambled a bit somewhat nervous.

"Will you put it on me?" Grace asked moving her hair out of the way so Derek could put the necklace around her neck.

Derek smiled and helped his daughter with the necklace

"It's beautiful just like you" he told her.

Grace hesitated "We're having dinner, do you want to eat with us for my birthday?" Grace asked a bit shyly

"I would love to" Derek smiled.


	13. It's my birthday, I can cry if I want to

Derek entered the house behind Grace to find Mark and Meredith in the kitchen whispering. Derek looked around the house that Mark and Meredith and his daughter lived in and couldn't help but notice how family-like their home seemed to be. It was homey much like Meredith's house was back in Seattle; he could see little traces of Mark and Meredith all within the home. The house structurally was Mark's taste, clean open and a lot of room, but design wise, Meredith made it was cozy. All the rooms were open to one another and you could see almost the entirety of one room when being in another. From what he could tell the rooms were mostly painted a warm maroon color except for the kitchen which was mostly white with maroon accents.

"Derek's staying for dinner" Grace announced plopping her bags on the couch before taking a seat on the sofa. Mark and Meredith both stopped their whispering, Meredith offered Derek a small tight lipped smile and Mark busied himself with making kool-aid.

"If that's okay?" Derek asked looking at Meredith

"It's fine" Meredith faked a smile and went back to busing herself in the kitchen.

"This house is nice" Derek said looking around inspecting the house where his daughter grew up.

"Only the best for my girl" Mark asserted giving Grace a wink.

Grace smiled and made her way next to Meredith to look at how her birthday dinner was coming along. Derek said nothing and took a seat in the open living room.

"Come help me get the soda's out of the fridge downstairs" Meredith told Grace. Grace obliged and the two set off down the stairs and into the basement where they kept an additional refrigerator.

Derek tried to make himself look busy and studied the pictures of Grace, Mark and Meredith all in the living room. Next to the couch he was sitting on was a picture of Grace around the age of three. Derek picked up the picture and studied it in his hand. She was wearing a princess dress and a crown. Mark was holding her on his lap and Meredith was leaning next to Mark. Grace's birthday cake was in front of them and all three looked incredibly happy.

Mark noticed Derek looking at the picture " Her fourth birthday" Mark said interrupting Derek from his thoughts and entering the living room.

"She was so small" Derek stated in awe of how tiny his daughter was at four

"Yeah, she takes after Mer. She's always been small for her age. Even when she was born only 5 pounds 8 ounces and 17 inches long, she was a tiny little thing" Mark said sitting in the chair adjacent to Derek in the living room.

Derek nodded and but kept holding onto the picture staring at it "I didn't know that" he said softly

"There's a lot of things about Peyton that I don't know. I'm always going to be in your life Derek, you were right on the phone, I raised your daughter and you raised my son. This thing is complicated" Mark said gesturing between the two of them

Derek was silent

"God knows you can hold a grudge, but I'm asking you to look past me as the guy who made one mistake years ago, I'm asking you as the man who raised your kid and kept her safe and provided for her, I'm asking you to be civil." Mark somewhat pleaded

"Why didn't you try to tell me Mark? I keep going over this in my head, you knew me better than anyone else. You knew I would never abandon my child, you knew I never received Meredith's letter. Why didn't you tell me?" Derek asked, anger was no longer present in his voice all that was left was hurt

Mark was about to reply when Meredith and Grace came back up the steps.

"Mark a little help here" Meredith said struggling to carry all the boxes.

Mark immediately got up and went over and grabbed all the boxes from Grace and Meredith.

"Next time let the men handle this" Mark joked trying to lighten the mood

Mark and Meredith went to the fridge to stock all the soda's

"Grace, I forgot to tell you, Barbs and Leonard are back in town and they said they're joining us for dinner" Meredith told her daughter.

Barbs and Leonard were their nosy neighbors who used to babysit Grace for Mark and Meredith when they had to work at the hospital. They were married since they were 18 and never had any kids, over the years they basically became Grace's grandparents. They had a condo in Florida and 3-4 times a year would go stay in it for a month or so.

"When did they get back in town?" Grace asked excited

"Yesterday, they said they didn't want to miss your birthday" Meredith told Grace with a smile

Mark groaned "Come on, Barbs grabbed my ass last time, right in front of her husband!"

Grace and Meredith both laughed. Derek felt a bit out of place and made his way into the kitchen

"Do you need help with anything?" Derek asked coming into the kitchen looking at Meredith.

"I got it" Meredith said avoiding eye contact.

Grace could sense how much tension there was between Derek and everybody in the house, especially the tension between Derek and her mom.

"Look what Derek gave me for my birthday" Grace said holding the necklace around her neck.

"It's pretty baby" Meredith remarked looking briefly at the necklace. Derek smiled

"I'm glad you like it" he told Grace sincerely.

Suddenly the doorbell rang informing them that their first guest of the evening had arrived

"I'll get it" Grace chimed

She opened the door to see her mom's boyfriend Dr. Fletcher Forbes standing infront of her. His light eyes filled with joy probably because he was excited to see Meredith

"Oh hey Fletcher" Grace said with a smile

"Happy Birthday" Fletcher said with a smile giving Grace a large box wrapped in blue balloon wrapping paper.

"Thanks" Grace muttered and put the present on the dining room table, where the rest of her presents were.

"Mark" Fletcher said with a nod as he moved past him to find Meredith

"Hey Fletch" Mark replied and left the house to put Grace's birthday balloons on the mailbox.

Fletcher found Meredith in the kitchen and wrapped his arms around her waist and planted a kiss on her lips.

"Hey" he whispered to her as he tugged on a piece of her hair

"Hey" she whispered back. Derek felt his heart sink completely out of his chest. He never even considered once that maybe Meredith might have moved on and it hurt him more than he would like to admit.

Derek cleared his throat and Fletchers attention turned to Derek. He looked at Meredith questioningly and then made his way over to Derek "I don't believe we've met" he told Derek sizing him up.

"Derek Shepherd, Grace's father" Derek asserted holding his eye contact

"Fletcher Forbes, Meredith's boyfriend. Glad you could make it" Fletcher lied reaching out to shake Derek's hand.

"So am I, I don't plan on missing anything else" Derek stated

"Well" Fletcher said and turned back to Meredith "Need help babe?" he asked

"I think I got it, oh wait. I completely forgot to pick up Grace's cake from the bakery. Would you mind?" Meredith asked biting her lip

"I'll get it" Derek quickly intervened

"You don't even know where the bakery is" Meredith replied

"All I need is the address, I can put it in my GPS"

"Actually I need to pick Grace something else up, I'll go" Meredith said

"I'll go with you, I need to get more familiar with the area since I'll be around. A. Lot" Derek said looking at Fletcher as he said the last part.

If Fletcher was annoyed by Derek's statement he didn't show it, he offered a smile  
"Gives me time to spend with the birthday girl" Fletcher said

"Okay good, so Derek and I should be back in 30 minutes, Grace's friends should be here anytime, Mark is tying the balloons to the mailbox and I think Grace went to change clothes." Meredith said collecting her purse. Fletcher put his hand on Meredith's arm and stopped her. When Meredith looked up at him he kissed her

"Drive safe" he told her with a smile

She gave him a smile and Derek opened the door for Meredith and him to leave the house.

The car ride was silent for the most part besides when Meredith told Derek where to turn.

"I hope you don't mind that I came here, I just didn't want to miss another birthday"

"I get it" Meredith said sharply

"You're not happy I'm here" Derek stated

"I'm not exactly thrilled" Meredith responded

"Take another left" she told him

There was silence as Derek turned left and pulled into a parking spot close to the front doors of the bakery. Meredith was about to open the door of the car when Derek placed his hand on her wrist. It was as if lightning struck her bones, Derek always had that effect on her.

"I'm sorry Meredith. I really am so sorry and I will say it to you as many times as I have to until you believe me. Grace deserves the world, she deserves a father who's there for her and is in her life and that's all I'm trying to do here"

Meredith nodded "I don't want my daughter getting attached to you and then being disappointed when you fail her" Meredith admitted her voice was strong.

"I'm not going to leave or choose Addison or Peyton over her. I'm here, I want to be here. I don't want to make you uncomfortable and I don't want you to hate me and the last thing I'll do is fail her. I'm not going anywhere" Derek said his blue eyes looking so intensely into her green ones.

"I don't hate you Derek, but you have to understand I don't really know you, and I don't trust you, even around our kid" Meredith replied

"Mer, you do know me….we were in love"

"No Derek, I was in love. You lied to me, you never told me about your wife and then you left me. I left Seattle because of you, I became a mom and I grew up. I'm not the same person I was in Seattle and I don't know you anymore. The Derek Shepherd I knew wasn't married and didn't lie. I'm no longer that intern that you can order around and walk all over. This is my daughter that I raised without your help. You want to come to New York fine, but if you want to come to New York to see my kid, you're going to do it by my rules"

Derek took a deep breath and ran his hand through his black hair.

"Fine" Derek stated defeated and unhooked his seat belt slamming the car door. He walked a few paces in front of Meredith.

"I'm here to pick up a cake for my daughter" Derek told the young girl working at the front of the bakery

"What name is it under?" the girl asked

Meredith shot Derek a look when she caught up to him in the bakery "Grey" Meredith told the girl who happily skipped off to the back to find the cake. Derek looked at Meredith out of the corner of his eye as the girl disappeared behind the back door, Meredith did the same but neither one spoke.

"Okay, that will be 48 dollars" the girl returned with a smile

Derek quickly pulled his credit card out of his pocket and paid before Meredith had a chance to get money out of her purse.

Meredith picked up the cake and they left the bakery

"I was going to get it" she told him

"It's just a cake Mer" Derek told her

Once they got back to Derek's car, Meredith opened the box of the cake to inspect it

"Grace's favorite, strawberry cake with chocolate icing"

"Takes after her mother" Derek said with a smirk

"You remembered that?" Meredith asked

"I remember everything you've ever told me" Derek said sincerely and put the car in drive.

Meredith took a deep breath "Okay, if you want to do this…this whole co-parenting thing, there are rules"

Derek smiled "I'm listening" he told her as his eyes remained focused on the road

"I expect you to be around, our daughter is not a toy, you can't just decide one month you want to be around and the next month have nothing to do with her. This is either all or nothing."

"I can do that" Derek said

"Next, Grace can come to D.C but only when she's comfortable with it, no weekend trips during the school year unless she's on break"

"I don't want to interfere with her school"

"Grace stays in New York during every Holiday"

"Can I at least come here to see her during the Holiday's"

"Yes"

"Okay, next rule" Derek asked

"I need you to get along with Mark. He helped me raise Grace, he's been here her whole life. She loves him, that doesn't change just because you're in the picture"

"Absolutely not, I can't do that"

"He's not the same person who slept with Addison, he's changed and he loves our daughter. I'm not asking you to be his best friend again but I want you to be civil to him"

"I don't like that Mark raised my daughter" Derek admitted

"I know" Meredith stated calmly

"It's not going to be easy" Derek gulped

"I know" Meredith repeated

" I will try for Grace" Derek agreed

"I don't want Grace around Addison…I just don't trust her and I don't want her around my kid"

"I wouldn't take her around Addison; I haven't even been around Addison. The first time I've seen her in the past month was Christmas"

"Then if it is okay with Grace, we can work out some kind of custody agreement"

"Thank you Mer" Derek said sincerely

Meredith nodded

There was a moment of silence

"I know this might not mean much coming from me, but I'm proud of you, you are an incredible mother, you did an amazing job. Grace is perfect."

"It wasn't easy"

"I know it wasn't, but you managed to raise her and become Harper-Avery award winning surgeon. That's impressive"

"You know about that?" Meredith asked

"I followed your career, all these years. I've never stopped thinking about you"

"I followed yours too" Meredith admitted

Derek's eyes lit up like they haven't in years

"Our daughter looks just like you, it's kind of hard not to constantly be reminded of you. I saw that you moved to D.C to work for the president. That must have been exciting"

Derek shrugged "I miss surgery. I don't get to operate much anymore."

Meredith looked out the window "I used to think surgery was the greatest thing in the world until I had Grace" she said softly

Derek looked at her for a moment before turning back to the road

"You must have thought that too when your son was born" Meredith

"I love my son don't get me wrong, but I think I always knew in the back of my head that he wasn't mine. Even before he was born I always thought there was a possibility he was Mark's"

"After you left….I was heartbroken… I really was. I changed. I avoided everything and everyone, I buried myself in my work, in my surgeries. I became chief, at Seattle Grace. Richard was drinking and I turned him in to the board"

"I didn't know that" Meredith said feeling guilty that she never kept up with Richard

"I hated being chief" Derek admitted

"Overrated?" Meredith asked

"Very. After I stepped down from being chief I got a call from the Whitehouse offering me a job to do brain mapping, I told them yes immediately" Derek remarked

"That must have been hard for your son or I guess Mark's son just to pack up and move like that"

"I guess it was" Derek agreed, not realizing at the time how unfair that had been to Peyton

"Why didn't you go into neuro? you had a talent for it" Derek remarked

"It just didn't feel right and I liked general, my mother was a general surgeon. I think in a way it kind of made me feel closer to her"

"I've missed this" Derek said after a moment.

"Talking to you, being around you. I've missed you" Derek said softly. His honestly moved Meredith but it was too late in their story. The Meredith and Derek chronicles had closed too long ago and digging it up at this point would just hurt everyone involved.

"I've missed it too" Meredith admitted because truthfully she did, not a day went by that she didn't miss Derek. For a man she didn't have for that long, their love seemed to have lasted a lifetime.

Derek reached over and held Meredith's hand, it wasn't meant to be romantic, and they both knew that, it was meant to comfort one another.

They didn't say anything else as Derek pulled his car into the driveway, never breaking the contact their hands had until Derek had to put the car in park.

He took a deep breath and put on a smile "We have a birthday party to get to" he told her as he took the cake from the backseat.

Once they entered the house, it seemed as though all their guests were there. A group of Grace's friends were there as well as Leonard and Barbs, and of course Mark and Fletcher.

Barbs had her arm around Grace "Meredith can you believe our baby is all grown up" Barbs commented her deep chain smoker voice boomed through the room

"I can't, seems like just yesterday she was running around the yard in her fairy costume" Meredith smiled coming over to say hello to both Leonard and Barbs.

"And who is this fine piece of Man Candy" Barbs said eyeing Derek up and down like he was a piece of meat.

"That's my dad" Grace said with a smile gesturing for Derek to sit next to her on the couch

"Would you look at that, twins" Leonard said looking up from his crossword puzzle. Derek took a seat next to his daughter

"Derek Shepherd, nice to meet you both" he reached out and shook both Barbs and Leonard's hands

"My, my, I think it just got hotter in here" Barbs commented not at all caring that her husband was just a few feet away from her

Mark laughed, he was happy that for once he wasn't the center of Barbs unrequited affection

"And you, don't think I forgot about ya" Barbs exclaimed winking at Mark

"I didn't" Mark said bashfully, getting up and going into to kitchen to help Meredith get the cake on the table.

They had pizza which was Grace's favorite for dinner, her friends mostly kept her occupied while the adults talked. Grace's friends all ate in the living room and the adults ate at the dining room table. Fletcher noticed that Derek kept his eyes glued on Meredith besides the times where he would look into the other room to look at Grace. Fletcher didn't like Derek one bit but more so than that didn't like the way he saw Meredith sneaking occasional glances at Derek as well. After dinner and opening presents most of Grace's friends left since they decided they were going to celebrate the rest of her birthday going to a concert over the weekend.

"It's time for the baby videos" Barbs shrieked as the adults as well as Grace were sitting in the living room. Fletcher left before presents since he was on call and got paged to go into the hospital.

"Please not the birth video again, I was literally scarred for life after watching it last year" Grace groaned

"Hey I was the one who was literally scarred. Ten hours of labor wasn't easy" Meredith joked to Grace

"I was there, it wasn't. I thought Mer was going to break my hand, she squeezed it so hard" Mark said

Everyone laughed except Derek who couldn't help but feel bad that he missed something so important as his daughter's birth.

Barbs made her way over to the drawer where they kept hundreds of videos of Grace growing up. She was looking through it when one in the back caught her eye.

"This little sucker was wedged in the back" Barbs said much louder than needed

Mark looked it over "Grace's 5th birthday, I don't even remember this one" Mark said

"Let's watch that one then and get this over with" Grace said. Meredith took a seat next to her daughter and Grace leaned over and laid on her mom.

Derek watched the scene of his ex-girlfriend and daughter and smiled while Mark put the video in and turned off the lights to get the full video effect.

There on the screen popped a much younger looking Meredith and a tiny Grace. Grace had long blonde hair and big blue eyes and was wearing a blue Cinderella dress. When she smiled you could see that she was missing a front tooth.

Meredith had Grace on her lap and Grace had icing all over her face.

Mark was obviously the one videotaping, he pulled the camera out and captured his face long enough to wave at the camera before it went back to focus on Meredith and Grace

"_Cinderella, did you have the best birthday?" _Mark asked behind the camera

"_The best!"_ Grace shrieked and everyone laughed

"_Is Cinderella ready for her extra special presents?"_ Mark asked in an animated voice

Grace tapped her chin a few times and looked as though she was deep in thought. In the video Meredith was grinning and had her eyes trained on her daughter

"_I think so yes_" Grace stated in the video

In the video Mark was walking and soon the video turned back to Grace's face that was lit up, she shrieked and ran from her moms lap. Mark filmed her as she jumped inside the pink Barbie corvette that they got her.

"_I think we did good"_ Mark commented and it was obviously directed at Meredith in the video.

Meredith came over and helped buckle Grace into the car

"_You have to be safe baby, and only drive it when me or Uncle Mark is around, okay"_

"_Yes Mommy!"_ Grace yelled obviously excited.

After a few minutes of Grace driving her motorized car up and down the street, the video cut to them inside of the house where Grace was finishing her cake.

She was back on Meredith's lap.

"_Did you get everything you ever wanted?"_ Meredith asked her daughter playfully.

Grace looked at her mom and dropped the fork she was eating her cake with on the plate

"_Yes mommy except_" Grace started

"_Why didn't my daddy come to my party?"_ Grace asked innocently.

Derek felt like he had just been stabbed in the chest, his tiny innocent five year old daughter wanted her father and he wasn't there, he was probably in a meaningless surgery while his daughter celebrated another year of her life.

Everyone in the room became uncomfortable, The one tape where Grace mentioned her father of course was the one they had to find and watch.

"_Your daddy is just busy, but he loves you very much" _Meredith said and from the video you could tell she was looking at Mark, begging him with her eyes to do something.

"_G, I have one more present for you"_ Mark said hoping to distract Grace

"_I love presents!" _Grace shrieked again and the video went on.

By the end of the video, Derek had to wipe away a tear from his eye.

Barbs and Leonard quickly got up

"Well Grace, love bug, Happy birthday, we love you, but man we're tired from our flight" Barbs said giving Grace a hug. It was awkward and they both wanted to get out of there.

Grace thanked them for the gift they got her and they said their goodbyes to everyone.

The room was a little awkward and Mark and Meredith decided to clean the kitchen from all the mess

"Thanks for coming" Grace offered Derek a smile

"I'm sorry Grace. I would have been there…if I had known" Derek said sincerely, he was choked up.

Grace hugged her dad and he hugged her to him. He rested his hand on her head and she laid her head on his chest.

"I have to work in the morning but I'll be back to see you soon. Your mom and I talked and if it's okay with you, I would like to spend time with you and really get to know you" Derek told her hesitantly

"I would like that" Grace smiled

Derek smiled back at her "Happy Birthday Princess" he told her and hugged her one last time before saying his goodbyes to everyone else.

At least this was progress.

Meredith followed him outside to his car

"I didn't know that was on there, that was the only birthday Grace ever asked for you" Meredith told him

Derek didn't know if that made him feel better or worse

"You're an amazing mother Mer, you did an incredible job raising our daughter" Derek said sincerely.

Meredith blushed slightly "Thank you" she told him

"I just wish I could have helped and been there too" Derek said sadly

"I wanted that" Meredith admitted

"I've missed so much"

"It's not too late Derek, Grace wants you in her life. She did go all the way to D.C to see you"

Derek laughed "I'll be back probably next weekend, I'll see if I can come for New Years, maybe stay a few days. Does she like to hike or fish?"

"She does, we never really have a chance to go , but I think she would like that" Meredith stated

"Good. Do you think I could take her to meet my mom?"

Meredith looked hesitant "Not my sisters, just my mom?" Derek tried

"I think that would be okay" Meredith smiled.

Derek looked at her with the McDreamy look and she couldn't help but melt a little on the inside

"I'll see you next week" Derek said getting into his car

"See you next week" Meredith whispered as he backed out of the drive way. They threw each other waves and then Derek was out of view and Meredith went back inside the house

At least this was progress.

Okay so this has been one of my favorite chapters, Reviews make me so happy and they motivate me to update faster. I would love to hear what ya'll think!


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